beautifulLife.praYer.eternAl

Isn't goodbye

2010-08-19T03:02:00.003+08:00

Hey!

Just wanna tell you that I'll be officially leaving this blog.
I am sorry for neglecting you for way too long bloggie. But I have to admit that I can't keep both blog alive at the same time!

You're the first blog that ever lasts! Am not gonna forget you (:

&for readers, you can still find me at click herel if you want to.

Don't forget to comment so I know who's there kay (:
&thanku for constantly checking this page even after the long hiatus!

You are the best!

If I could turn back time

2010-06-10T03:14:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I like the way we are. Sometimes, I prefer how things should be. The rest of the times in between, I just wish that I could change them.

I know I have been MIA for a pretty long period, here. I do update my livejournal quite regularly (: So go get yourself a livejournal and add me! HAHA Anyway, lets get to the point.

As usual, somethings happen and they always set me thinking or remind me of some things that happened. Well, I have this problem that's been stuck with me for years. I don't think before I speak and it is a terrible thing. Many times, I am sure, I hurt my mum way too deep.. She never said anything or she never cry in front of me of course but my aunt told me she did (long afterwards of course). It's a simple things and it may seem harmless but whatever I said must have hurt her so much that she sobbed.

And if it hurts me knowing that I've disappointed or hurt a friend, it certainly hurts me much more to know that I made her cry because the stupid things I said. Well, I kept on saying I want to change and I never will. I wonder what will really change me. Like instantly but I dont want to know. I should continue trying then. Even if that means I should die trying, so be it. At least I ever bother to try, yknow.

Learning point of the day:
Words can hurt others more than you think they could even when others know that you don't mean it. And no matter how much you want to take them back, you know you can't. Regrets would be all that's left...

2010-05-30T02:00:00.002+08:00

Be happy every single day Lya! (:

2010-05-15T23:40:00.002+08:00

I want to enjoy my last sem in Tp (:
Hope everything will be great.. It's the last time i'd be in school anyway..
Let's create a lot of wonderful memories! ^^

Looking ahead

2010-05-08T16:36:00.001+08:00

SO sick. Damn it.

2010 won't be a good year after all.

I'll always be sick for the entire year.

I'm gonna miss a lot classes.

I'm so screwed.

I hate my stomach :/

More to living than being alive right?

2010-04-24T02:29:00.002+08:00

Hi Hi! ( :

You know Junsu and his brother will be in town in less than a week and I am so not prepared for it :/ I have no idea who to go stalking him with or to be exact I dont know if I want to stalk him in the first place. Things feel really complicated right now and I have no idea how to make things work.. How to make everything work. Sigh.

Anyway, tomorrow is shopping with Trishy. Idk if I would get anything because it seems like we wont have the time as we're heading to the airport to have supper with our fav Sat crew! Sunday is the day when I'd finally touch Junho's showcase tix! *SCREAM* Its at IMM sigh so damn far. awesome. I have no idea what to do next may be I'd go check out hair saloon? Or go shopping for some bottoms for school.. Oh did I tell you I've been in love with black stockings. Its been sometime,, okay its more like years actually.. haha my black stockings have been sleeping well in my wardrobe so i decided to make use of them.. Thats why I bought them in the first place right? haha I think I have this bad habit to save things I love and fancy because I dont have the heart to lose them or spoil them :P

#SAVETVXQ

2010-04-18T23:20:00.001+08:00

Been sometime since I last blog eh?

Not to worry I am back to share timeless (: It may be an old song but its still nice.. Im sure you;d like it.. (:

Don't lose faith, 6 years and still going on strong

2010-04-14T01:34:00.002+08:00

Woah, I’m quite surprised it took them months before they did this. I was expecting the company to do this the moment the courts has granted JaeJoong, Yoochun and Junsu that partial ruling last year.

I know I will sound bias with what I’m gonna say next but really, I find this new lawsuit filed by SM as their way of releasing their annoyance because the company is no longer profiting from DBSK. In the past months, SM didn’t file a lawsuit even if the court has granted the three members the freedom to do individual activities because even though the company is not profiting from Korean activities of DBSK, it is profiting from the group’s Japanese activities. But now that their Japanese activities are also suspended, the company is no longer getting anything from DBSK apart from the profits from Yunho and Changmin’s activities.

Just imagine how much SM will lose from DBSK’s inactivity in Japan. It can lose as much as Avex does or maybe even more. My guess is that it is only now that SM is finally realizing how much of an impact DBSK’s inactivity is for the company. Some people might argue that SM was able to gain income last year based on the recent financial report of the company for 2009 but don’t be fooled by that. Remember that the inactivity of DBSK only started in the 2nd half of the year and that the company is gaining so much from the group’s Japanese activities. It is only now, in 2010, where DBSK has halted its Japanese activities will the company really feel the effect of all of this, unless the other SM artists can pull as much profit and sales as much as DBSK does for their Korean AND Japanese releases. But we all know that’s a hard thing to do. Therefore, SM is left with no option but to try to get the three members back and for DBSK to “operate” again.

SM is again putting the blame on JaeJoong, Yoochun and Junsu for DBSK’s inactivity in both Korea and Japan. It is again trying to gain the fans and the public’s sympathy and support by saying that they have “put their best efforts to keep the group in existence” but the three members, according to SM, are just being unresponsive. Now, it makes me wonder what is the “best effort” SM is talking about? I think all of us knows that unless it adheres to JaeJoong, Yoochun and Junsu’s request of a fair contract and income division, SM will never get the three members back. If I am the three members and SM is just demanding me to go back to the company or is just offering me something that is still not acceptable to me, then I will surely be unresponsive, too. You see, this whole lawsuit has been going on for months and in terms of legalities, things are going in favor of the three members. It is unwise on their part to just accept anything that SM offers which is way lesser than what they could have once this whole thing is finished. And no, that’s not greed but it is called justice. Besides, they can still survive anyway because of their individual projects. It might be even possible that they’re getting the right amount of income they deserve now that they are not under SM’s control. In short, SM is the one greatly affected financially here and so the company needed a way to bring back their main “money maker”, which is DBSK. As a DBSK fan, I would rather take the pain of not seeing my beloved boys together than see them back at SM being treated unfairly again. Yes, I want them to be together as DBSK again but I also do not want all the time, effort and sacrifices they’ve made for this whole thing to go to waste.

And lastly, why does it seemed to me that SM is trying to say that the three members are the ones who decided to suspend their Japanese activities? Well dear SM Entertainment, this could not have happened if you did not separate the three members from Yunho and Changmin. If you weren’t so stupid to interfere with their relationship and be professional enough to let them be together amidst this lawsuit, then I could definitely assure you that they would have not stopped their Japanese activities. As a fan who has watched the members be separated into two groups and stand awkwardly on stage together, I would actually prefer to see them doing individual activities for now than being a group. Them being on stage and seeming like they’re afraid to touch or even look at each other is really painful to see. Add to that, if SM wasn’t involved in the decision of the suspension of DBSK’s Japanese activities, then why on earth does Avex need SM’s permission on everything concerning DBSK including the continuation of the Japanese fanclub, Bigeast? Now could the VERY SMART (note: I’m being sarcastic) people of SM Entertainment explain that?

Again, what I have said may have sounded biased towards JaeJoong, Yoochun, and Junsu but I just find it really hard to believe or even just sympathize with SM Entertainment ever since they have released all those crap to ruin the three members when the lawsuit began. I was willing to understand their side before but after all the false statements and black propaganda they’ve come up with, it’s really hard to believe SM anymore. If they had the guts to forge the signature of the three members for the Shenzhen concert and release false written letters by Yunho and Changmin against the other members, then I’m sure they can release more false accusations just to tarnish the reputation of JaeJoong, Yoochun and Junsu.

Credit: Soompi

ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH

2010-04-10T03:34:00.001+08:00

Always
Listen closely
We
Are still here just like
Yesterday
Supporting you

Keep in your mind
Entirely and
Eternally you are our
Pride

Through this
Hard time we will
Ensure you

Faith that we have will
Always be here because we have an
Inextricable connection
That we built together so stay
Hopeful

ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH

Credit: DBSKnights.

Short update

2010-04-05T21:06:00.003+08:00

Slept at 2.30 am last night. Woke up at 5 plus. Went out of the house at around 6 and just reached home at 9. great. and i dont go out for meals or movies.. i dont go out to hangout with the lovelies so can you imagine how tired my brain is right now? I may not be talking sense so will keep it short and sweet.

My entire way to school was filled with smiles and tears here and there.. As I listen to them sing, I imagined their performances and things they said.. I didnt really cried but tears were just there and yet I am smiling at the cute things they said.. I know I sound like a psychotic but its okay.

The sky this morning was really pretty. The only one thing that I regret if I were to move house would be to not be able to see the beautiful sky and planes.. Its really pretty.. You cant just see it from the ground.. It has to be level 12! haha

Anyway, early morning alone in school was scary. I wont try it for the second time.. I am very tired now that I can't think of anymore things. Oh! PSH has been updating her me2day regularly and I havent been checking her page.. I think most updates are about her dog... Her name is Lucy, i think? she seems to be talking about Lucy a lot.. haha

Tell you more when I am sane.. gotta go get some rest now. another long day tomorrow. die.

Pretty Cocktail Dress Set

2010-04-03T10:09:00.002+08:00

(Y) My hard work pays off. haha. It is nothing much but I really want to wear this to cocktail partiess! haha The set is freaking ex lohh.. haish It's okayy I can drool over it for now :P

Toki wo Tomete

2010-04-03T06:09:00.002+08:00

My Version of U - TWT by JoongHana featuring True Religion jeans

I just can't leave you yet..

2010-04-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

Hello world!

I dont know why I love saying it but I do.. HAHA Hello world! Makes me feel happy? Not really but you get the idea..

Anyway, Im gonna update a bit here..

Firstly, I wonder why Key never updates his me2day account when Dara is getting irritating by updating every 5 mins? lol it isnt that bad but she really updates a lot! I swear.. It is really a lot! I should tell her to stop spamming!

Secondly, Glynn and Kez will be on their way home tmr and I hope Im gonna see them soon! Going out to see Ce Cenny who I have never met for damn long already! (Y) What else? Oh! I saw Eugene wearing a shirt that I bought! lols Im happy! It is honestly the prettiest out of the rest lols I am so proud of my eyes! lols

Lastly, I have been having dreams recently.. Odd ones.. People who I have not seen for very long are appearing in my dreams and they've gotten more handsome or prettier! lols im so jealous.. What happened to me! hahaha Well, does that mean that I am gonna see them soon? Hopefully.. May be it is gonna be a sweet reunion..

Oh, my thunderbolt tanks isn't here yet.. It's been sometime since I ordered it X( Sad life.. I can't wait to hold it!

A vision of hope

2010-04-01T19:56:00.002+08:00

Hello Again, World!

I just opened a lj account. May be I'll be migrating there. But, this blog won't be neglected just like that. ^^ It's my first ever blog that lasts so yeah.. I'll be updating this too (: Or may be lj will be dead.. Blogger, please just don't die on me like that!! haha

Be back when I have stories to tell.

Till then, bye!

PS: Stomach pain! X( Been feeling unwell for 2 days X( sadded.

timelessfive@lj (:

My bitchy moments

2010-04-01T18:11:00.003+08:00

"We act like nothing happened. Guess we naturally understand that we despise each other. As simple as that."

Were talking to dramaqueens just know and some topics reminded me of something.. I had the entire journey back home to think about it and all the other details just fall into place and I suddenly remembered somethings. Unpleasant things. Not that I care much about it but it is just sad knowing these kind of things have to take place.

Someone, named Z once said, well not directly to me but to a friend of mine, that it is scared that I thought it dislikes me because of some actions it did. Truthfully, nothing ever crosses my mind at all if Z never mentions anything about it. The fact that it mentions it means that it thought of such things and perhaps it is a kind of hints. I don't know how to explain this but the fact that it mentions such things means something..

Well, we do not talk to each other any longer and it does not bother me because perhaps it is for the best. I don't have to feel awkward all the time.. Like honestly, I don't know how to act every time we meet so it is not that upsetting.. It's just something that makes me wonder.. What is it that I did wrong? I don't feel like I offended it in any way before or anything like it.. I think I have been pretty nice to it and others but of course there are exceptions.. What upsets me is that I feel that I have been nice and treated it as a friend.. All I do know is I don't deserve it but it doesn't matter anyway.. I shall ignore everything that happens and stay "friends" with Z.. Sometimes pretending does all the wonders. I feel like a fox right now. But you have to act like the Romans when you are in Rome right? haha.
Anyway, I think we both know that we don't fancy each other much so it shouldn't be a problem right? Its a tie.. So I am not a fox.

Okay, so went to IKEA for lunch with dramaqueens. I waited for the shuttle bus for half an hour and by the time I reached IKEA, I totally lost my mood to eat! Like seriously, they should increase the frequency please. I was almost dead way before reaching IKEA... Siqi had to be driven home cos she wasnt feeling well. I hope she's good now.. Take care kay girl.. So sad you weren't around.. Anyway, chicken wing wasn't as fabulous as I recalled. Had 2.5 chicken wings and 4 meat balls.. I kept on eating and eating but they didn't get any lesser!! I wonder why... Steph and Weiying had to help me finish the remaining 6 which sent them to Pluto hahaha... They fancy meatballs a lot.. May be should bring them eat beef meatball soup from my hometown one day... It's fabulous! (: I love it.. They may not though.. I have savory tongues (: Indonesian food is the greatest of all and I don't like Chinese food because they are too blend!! :P

Had Princess cake for dessert but it is just too sweet.. Couldn't take it X( I shall not get it again in the future! Vanilla ice cream is a must have when I visit the store.. But they sort of change the flavour and cone. It isn't as tasty anymore. Disappointed. This time round, my visit to IKEA isn't as amazing as the previous-es. Although there were lesser crowds and it was much easier to find seats :P IKEA should really increase their food standard again. haha

Anyway, went around IKEA as usual but with less photo taking sessions and more of chit chatting.. I shall try the hotdog next time.. Been hearing that it's nice but my stomach has never had enough space for it.. Sadded.

One last thing before I end this post... My twitter totally turned into some Kpop thing. Everything I touch just turns Kpop :P hahaha. Sent all kinds of messages to Kpop stars and received 0 reply. None. Haish. But I shall not stop trying. One day when a reply arrives, I'm gonna turn berserk! hahahaha How I wish my dong bang boys or SHINee has one too.. Well, they can't even speak Engrish so I shall dream no more.. BYE BYE (:

PS: I really like the scheduler that I gave up for Key... Didn't get anything so decided to let go my scheduler collection.. But I really shouldn't have given it to Key.. He won't use it anyway.. Regrets ㅠㅠ It was the last piece when I bought it... ROARS Key better makes full use of the spaces~!! Or he should give it back to me. HEE HEE .Sigh.

P.PS: Should I change to livejournal? Blogger really can't stop giving me problems.. I wonder if I can ever get used to lj.. X( Besides, I can't think of a name for my lj. TSK. It's pretty hard to leave this space cos this is the longest blog I've ever kept.. Although I doubt it's even 2 years old lol I suck, I know. haha

정말 맛있다~!!!

2010-03-31T06:34:00.006+08:00

20100330-Kim's Family Restaurant & Lotte Mart

난 정말 M Y S T E R Y M Y S T E R Y

2010-03-31T05:43:00.005+08:00

내가 안 좋아해.. 그렇게 왜?? 나도 몰라...ㅠ3ㅠ

너 때문에 생각하지마... 왜냐하면 너를 좋아하는 사람 아니라... 내가 좋아하는 사람 재중이야... ㅋㅋㅋ

그런데 왜 아파? 이상하네.. 안 그래? TSK.

끝

바보 처럼

2010-03-31T01:58:00.003+08:00

HELLO! (:

I am just about to tell you a funny story of my life today. Promise me you won't laugh okay? Only continue reading after you have done so.......

Went out to meet Nat and Zeon for the greatest 비빔밥 outing! We took mrt to Clementi and supposedly bus down.. We were supposed to alight at the 12th stop to see Mr Kim and his family who stay in Bukit Timah..

After a long wait for 52 and some time on board, we actually realised we were at JURONG EAST! I dont know if I should call it lucky for us to spot IMM but I guess it was indeed lucky.. Or we would end up in interchange in less than 12 stops.. -.-! And the worst thing is that the person in Clementi Mrt control station directed us to Exit A which was the wrong exit. bleah. -.-!

So after asking some directions from a nice lady in the bus, we boarded the bus and took a cab instead.. It was really a joke. haha. And the taxi driver kept on asking us about the restaurant location when we have never been there in the first place! We were totally lost luh..

Travelling from another part of the universe to fulfill our cravings was actually worth it.. BEcause it wasnt just any korean meal. It was a fantastic one! ^^ My first meal of the day was really a blast! (:

Btw, we took so long to decide what to eat cos there were just too many nice food! Gosh, we'd be back soon! Next week perhaps.. Seafood pancake was the bomb.. Bibimbab was great! though I was scared to burn my tongue hehe.. And did I mention that there were 11 side dishes?! GOSH! IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! XD We were so amazedd luh.. Next time I'd be sure to try the pork rice and spicy pancake (: oh! I wanna try soju too.. Dddokbboki is worth it too... (: There are just too many things worth trying.. Pork belly!!! GAHHHH I cant think anymore..

We were so full we couldnt move an inch please... The Kims are nice and friendly ^^ And I spotted so many Kpop writings on the wall.. lols But didnt get to see DBSK.. I'll be sure to bring HUGE markers and Write their name all over the place in the future ㅋㅋㅋ Anyway, we found that Lotte Mart is just a few doors away! So we dropped by afterwards.. Found SHINee's ramen snack! We went crazy after it but decided to not get them because we didnt know what to do with them afterwards.. Can't possibly throw but can't possibly keep the plastic too lols so yeahh.. I even watched SHINee MB JOJO performance! Saw it before but watching it for another time is not an issue right? (:

Lotte Mart has things that are not available in S-Mart.. We would definitely come back for the nice red bean fish ice cream!! It was really nice.. Too bad I didnt get it.. SO SADD... haha Walked around finding our bus stop.. We were totally lost and didnt know where to go.. But it was totally fun (: We should frequent Bukit timah now yeah? ^^

Another thing that makes me happy today is Junho's Showcase! I mean suddenly the anticipation rushes out my whole body and I was shaking as I saw the photos... GOSHH! I cant wait to see the twins! XD Seriously, Junho looks much better after his surgery but who doesnt right? Anyway.. I really cant wait to get my ticket!!! I wonder where I'd be sitting.. Hopefully it isnt way too back.. And now Im worried.. Who'd help me take photos man! I'd be going alone.. TT-TT haishhhh... The photo taking session would totally be a waste luh cos no one would help me TT-TT SOB SOB.. And I have no digi cam loh. X( Hopefully polaroid is allowed X( but polaroid must take close up if not Junsu and Junho would be dots -.-!! And I cant possibly stand beside them right? HAISH IM SO WORRIEDDDDDDDD SOB SOB SOB SOB

Anyway, You know my DBSK boys jsut broke another record.. This time is no longer Elton John or Bonjovi.. It's Mariah Carey (in comparison to female's record) and for male's record, my boys broke a 31 years old record! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???!!! Its 31 years old record, no kidding...!!! GOSH! Aren't they just HEAVENLY AWESOME!!!! Seriously, who can ever beat my boys? ^^ Im MEGA PROUD OF MY BOYS! : D Not even SHINee can WIN this! Not UKISS. Not f(x). Not PSH. Not BIGBANG. Not C.N Blue. Not Hongki. None. : D MY DB BOYS HOLDS MY HEART FOREVER ♥♥♥

Another long-winded post (:

2010-03-28T02:25:00.003+08:00

LOL I happened to read something and I couldnt help but to laugh.. It isnt anything funny actually but I just found it amusing. lols I guess I can actually say it since the person won't ever step on my blog anyway.. but may be I shouldn't cos even when I don't say names it is still obvious. lols But I just have this urge to let things out so it my chest wont be so heavy.

GAHH.. Anyway, I wonder why people ask questions when they have already known the answer? And why people can still be so nice to others even when they have already mentioned that they hate it? I dont understand. For me it is just too hard to do it.. As in it'll be obvious if I dont like a person or sth. I'll be cold towards them or I'll be like heck care.. For example, if we are in a group I wont initiate small talks and such.. What more smiling and talking as if there's nothing.. And actually I feel kind of guilty because something happened before. I was talking to someone about somethings and the person mentioned that one of it is with a certain person that I was unhappy with who was standing a few steps away from me.. And what I did was turned to see this person and said "oh" and quickly continuing my convo lols. I feel quite bad for doing it because I really don't know my facial expression at that time!

I tend to show my feelings through expressions and I think I did give a disgusted look. Well, that was what I felt. No one is perfect right? And some are just foxes. Now, I am able to understand it and have decided to not deal with that person if it's unnecessary so I have no worries. I really hope that we won't be classmates forever cos it'll be really awkward.. And I may have to act everyday.. Wouldnt it be uncomfy? I shiver at the thought of it.. Okay luh. Actually it's not that bad.. But I still hope such thing won't happen.. haha

Anyway, enough with the random start. I've got to tell you about today. (: Went for lunch with Shinn, Kaixin, Jiaen and Woonjiun at Shokudo Raffles City. My second visit there.. Wanted to try the caramel bread or something but it was sold out so I had to take waffle.. I wondered how waffle without ice cream would taste so I saved some money from a scoop of ice cream.. It was really sweet X(

Out to see "When in Rome" with Shinny and Cal.. Too bad we couldnt catch "How to Train Your Dragon" but the show was nice and so fairytale like (: I like.. Its pretty yet funny things which won't happen so easily in reality but it is satisfying to just imagine them happen right? Gives you faith and hope.. Well, may be it will never happen in one's life but if it gives me the strength to believe and move on, why not? For me, it is kinda motivating enough.. Imagining miracles walk into my life some day is a pretty happy thing ^^

Could have reached home like much earlier if I were to take mrt but I didnt. Took 518 and I reached home at around 830 pm? Crazy isnt it? I waited for it for 45 mins and the entire journey was spent standing! ROAR. Couldnt get my sleep :{ sad life. Went home to bathe and went out for popeye at t3 but sadly, it was flooded with human so we ate satay and grilled chicken which wasnt bad! (: It was worth for money!

Met Glynn's mum and dad (: I just have this awkward feeling of not knowing what to do when I meet "parents".. May be there's such thing called "parents-phobia"? haha anyway, saw Qiaoyin, Sheena and Zeezee (: Hope they'll enjoy themselves despite the lousy weather.. AH! Did I tell you that I met Jerome~?! haha I wasnt sure if he'd remember me (btw, Nick doesnt seem to remember me :{ sad sad) so I was scared to greet him but he does! (Y) so happy! but I doubt he remembers my name though lols

He waved at me.. His bright smile reminded me of Onew.. Oh man I miss him.. haha He came over and asked "So, you arent going with us?" :( I kinda want to go now. haish. but ugh well.. He said that the coach would have space for me and hotel can just sneak in! haha! But I'd have to buy my own tix.. -.-! seriously.. I didnt have anything with me but myself.. hahaha! not even my passport.. And before I left for home, Jerome was like "there's still 1 student missing.. you can wait for awhile" haha he meant that I could take her place.. and the "her" was Sheena btw lols! Jeez. Im so happy to see himm! I wish I can join them but since I can't there's nothing I can do about it..

BTW! YESTERDAY WAS THIS IS IT MJ TRIBUTE CONCERT!!! GO SEE YUNHO'S FANCAM KAY! : D IT WAS AMAZING!!!! HIS DANCE MOVES ARE JUST AS EXPECTED.. AMAZING! AND HE SINGS WELL TOO! TODAY (28032010) HE'S PERFORMING TOO! Please look out for him yeah! Im so proud of my angel XD he is great! he is awesome! he is my world! LOVESSS! Anyway, Minho and Changmin came to see him.. I was really heartbroken to see that.. They were kinda "sent" by SM to support him.. But where's JAEJOONG! JUNSU! YUCHEON! Please this is really heartbreaking.. idk if they'd come today but I really hope they will! X( I cant stand the way they are separated.. Can SM stop it already.. My heart hurts a lot.. Really a lot.. It feels like I cant breathe... anyway, Yunho FIGHTING! XD

Btw, photos will be up when Shinny uploads them and when Kez is back from Beijing! ^^

Don't promise something you cant deliver

2010-03-27T00:56:00.002+08:00

Hello world!

Today I had only 2 to 3 hours of sleep only.. I sacrifices all my sleeping hours to see the cutie Kola! (: Went to Northpoint for the very first time.. I am a east-person.. There's no need to go all the way to Yishun right? haha Anyway, met Kezia and Glynnis there and had a fabulous chicken rice for lunch (: lols Actually for me, it is not bad luh.. The chix is nice as it's quite sweet.. But the chilli can be better haha But it's Kez' fav.. so it is fab okay! lols

Accommpanied the 2 ladies to shop for their trip and I found it amusing and amazing at the same time.. Seeing how serious their faces were is amusing.. And it was amazing because they seemed to have thought of every single details! Things that dont even cross my mind.. haha I think I need more travelling experience.. If I were to travel I wouldnt know what to do or what to bring.. Actually, I could have taken the module too so I wont be so bored doing "nothing" at home everyday.. :( Haish, its too late to regret now right?

Ah, speaking about regret.. I still cant make up my mind if I should really take advanced Jap in school.. In a way it is risky cos if I dont do well, its gonna pull down my GPA which is something I cant afford to X( but if I dont appeal for it, I would regret my whole life.. X( Another problem is that Im gonna be alone, literally.. And joining juniors.. It'd be damn awkward.. haish. Why must I be so indecisive? :[ I have to decide quickly and contact Ms. Choi if I want to make it happen.. HELP!!!!!!!

Back to topic.. Went to Kez' place to meet Kola for the first time! BUT he dislikes me :( IM SUPER DUPER MEGA SAD! :( I should have bought some cheese to bribe him luh.. haish. He doesnt like me loh.. May be I look like a witch to him cos of my crooked nose.. I need surgery alreadyy lols KOLA! DONT HATE ME KAYY! IM SAD :{

Totally fell asleep the entire bus rides.. Too tired I guess? You know why? Coz Glynn bullied me with the sponge cutting lols.. But i had a great time (: Disturbed Kez like mad.. I think she is pissed off with me but its not gonna last right? haha Should be nicer to her next time.. and to Kola too..

I wish to spend many days like today (: Glynn and Kez.. Have fun okay! :D and be carefull.. Dont be sandwoman! lols Anyway, dont forget my present yeahhh! LOLS and when u guys are back lets go eatttt and watch Remember me plus The Last Airbender kayyy! :D

LOVE YOU BOTH! : D

I love these people

2010-03-26T00:23:00.004+08:00

24032010 - Swedish Dinner with lovelies

I wanna know

2010-03-25T23:06:00.003+08:00

Describe me in 1 word (: HONESTLY.

Let's put all those messy things in my head into words

2010-03-25T01:58:00.003+08:00

I dont know how I should start this. It's another fun filled day and a very tiring one. Went out for more than 12 hours today. In HEELS. The pain was bearable but thanks to the blisters and stockings my feet kept on slipping X(

I went out with Dramaqueens for lunch at Arab Street.. Spaghetti Bolognese is still my fav but the branch in Bugis Junction is more spicy.. sad. but it was really filling after all the long walk under the hot sun.. Didnt catch any movies although we wanted to and ended up in Urban write.. It was amazing that I didn't get any stickers from there okay! *pat pat* Im so proud of myself... haha cos Im really broke X(

Sat at starbucks and chat till 5 plus and went to meet Maddie afterwards (: It's been so long since I last saw her and I was delighted.. Mad, let's go for meals again soon okay! Sakae sounds good (: FRIED TOFUUU! XP

Oh! Let me tell you.. I was wearing this black dress.. I find it quite simple but may be its not.. Everyone got a shock and thought that I am going clubbing.. -.-! Actually, everytime I wear a dress people will think that I am going to club.. haha Why? Its just that they dont see me often in dress, that's why.. I should really save my dresses for parties then.. They've been in the wardrobe for years.. They are getting old very soon... haha Anyway everyone was curious why I wear it.. I was out with the girls and I thought that I should doll up.. Sice I'd be out for dinner too may as well wear something nicer.. Idk.. If it feels weird then I shan't do it anymore.. haha

Someone said that I've turned wild.. in terms of my dressing.. I am glad that there are people who cares to point out things that change which I may not realise it myself and I am glad that they are honest with it.. I do think that I changed in my dressing sense but wearing dress is not something new but its just not really Lya? Idk how to say this but I dont agree with the terms wild.. May be I am getting wild in personality cos I start cursing and do a lot of bad things even when I know I shouldnt.. And I dont change because anyone wants me to..

And is it a bad thing that I change? I wish it is not..

Anyway, Fika is a really nice place to hang out.. It is really pretty and I love the interior.. A LOT.. Seriously it is the kind of place that you'd be able to relax in and chill.. It is the kinda place where you can have a quality time alone too.. I could imagine myself sitting there, reading a book and eating cakes!.. HEAVEN. :P Dinner was not bad.. Grilled chicken.. Iced summer peach is nice too.. With the right company, it was nearly perfect.. LPJS can pop by again someday and I really wish to bring my year 1 loves here too! : D Random outings would really make my day, I swear!

Photo taking sessions were fun! I love taking photos.. Keeping those moments and laughed at them in the future.. It's lovely, isnt it? Somehow, I feel that we were somehow isolated? Everyone was busy with their own group and convo.. It reminded me of H13.. but even so we didnt ignore others or dont even turn when called or not answers others' offers.. I was disappointed actually, but I cant blame anyone. There's just no bond right?

We went to find Roy at Fairmount afterwards (: I miss his jokes and soon Im gonna miss Jere's and Tobie's X( So sad.. But this is life.. Things have to go on.. I would see them again before I know it so I shouldn't think about it so much.. (:

You know, I hate hearing things from other ppl's mouth about someone that I care about.. I am just unhappy listening to those stories or judgements.. I think its a natural "protective" feeling.. Because you know that they are not that kind of person and you know that others just dont understand.. Not everyone will show the real side of them to just anyone right? I feel that it is unfair to judge them that way even I dont know anything.. Besides certain issues are just personal and I dont think it is the kind of thing we should meddle with..

And I know I am someone ignorant and full of myself.. I am selfish and I tend to forget about others.. I went MIA for a week basically doing nothing but sleeping all the time.. And I am sorry about it.. And if I do look unapproachable, I am sorry too.. There's just something wrong with my face because I am not that fierce.. People think that I am only full of nonsense but I am not.. I can and I want to share joy and sorrow with others too.. You know where Im getting at..

After all those things, I shall do a mini conclusion.. Basically I am full of flaws and I cant promise that I would change but don't give up on me even when I do change in an unexpected way.. Talk to me about it.. Talk to me about anything.. Be open to me and I'll be open to you too.. Take that first step because if you are waiting for me to do it, you'd have to wait for ever... I have my own reasons, I have my own train of thoughts and I dont expect you to understand all of them.. Just give me your honest opinion and accept me for who I am.. Help me understand myself, cheer me up when I am sad and I'd share my happiness with you (: I dont have to be the first person to know but I wanna know it from you alone.. It is just a disappointment to hear news from others' mouth.. Say things only when you mean it and say it staright to the point, I dont take hints because I am too stupid. Tell me when you want to see me, when you miss my irritating voice because I'm trying to convey all my feelings to you too.. Let's stay friends today, tomorrow, forever (: Why? I simply like a good friend like you~!^^

Blabber Blabber Blurp

2010-03-24T00:52:00.002+08:00

I dont know why but I have so much to say. Although I think this post is really gonna be a messy one. HAHA

Anyway, I had fun again today. I think all I need to do is get more fresh air and catch up sessions with dearies. I have been totally out of the world and its just sad X( No wonder it feels so boring.. Cos I was home all the time, sleeping. The only other thing I did was eating. P I G! GOSH! Anw, was really bloated with some sushi and all the side dishes! KAKIAGE AND FRIED TOFU ARE LOVED! TAKOYAKI TOO! : D Had ION tako balls too (Y) I WAS A HAPPY GIRL! : D

AH! Caught lovely or is it lonely bones? Theater sucks. My neck was in pain and couldnt even find a nice position to sit.. And dont even ask about the movie itself.. -.- it was a disaster can? there were some thrilling parts but there were more bullshit scenes and the ending is a total turn off.. Well may be I should pick up reading again.. Im sure the book is much better (:

Talking about movies, I wanna watch Remember Me! X( Who wanna go with me? haish.. i really feel like doing a lot of things these days.. I wanna go K.. I wanna go take neo prints! Its been some time since the last time I took them :( I wanna go Seoulgarden eat.. Must make use of my 25% disc before April! What else uh? OH! I wanna cut, perm and dye hair! And lastly SHOPPING!!!!! Saw so many pretty clothes and bags at FEP ytd.. Im so dying to own them.. But I gotta clear my wardrobe first! There's no more space :(

Ah! Risa's birthday coming too :( I wonder if I should do a card for her and send it.. I gotta need to find her address first.. Its gonna take a super long time looking at the number of emails I have in my inbox -.-! I think I should do it very soon or else it wont reach in time for her birthday..

And ytd I saw this pretty, I swear its really a pretty shirt! It's $55! Okay, its actually a simple stripe tee with distorted eyes and mouth.. Was thinking to make it as a birthday gift.. But its too pricey.. May be next time when I can find someone who pull off pretty well on it? (: Like Jonghyun or Key? HAHAHA

Oh did I tell u? There are rumours saying that SHINee will be in Malaysia for some fanmeeting! Im still thinking if I should chase them all the way there or not.. But ugh well.. See how.. I'd go if there's DBSK but risking my life only for SHINee, I have to think again.. haha I wonder when they'd be coming back to Sg.. I honestly want them to stay in Korea and never come back but looking at this rate, I think they would be back to promote their new album which will be out in April? I seriously think its gonna be another mini album! How can the prep time be so short for a whole album! but shall see how? May be repackaged? I do expect more from the boys.. Hopefully it wont be a disappointment..

Okay, I forgot what else I wanna say so yeah. Think have to go to bed and get some rest.. Tomorrow gonna be another long day.. (: Buffet with dramaqueens and another movie to catch afterwards.. PACE dinner at 7.. I wonder if I'll have enough time to rush over? Shall see how tmr.. CIAO! :D

PS: I WANNA TRY TO GO ON BLIND DATES (: IT LOOKS LIKE FUN ON SCREEN! :D How I wish such things are common here too.. OK. MIGRATE TO KOREA. SET.

PHOTOS FROM FISH AND CO & SAKAE SUSHI AHEAD (:

HOLD IT HOLD IT!

2010-03-23T02:01:00.003+08:00

배고파 죽겠어 진짜! X(

GOSH! I cant possibly eat at this hour!! I'll let my stomach ease its pain tmr afternoon!! SUSHI BUFFET IM COMING!!!~~ : D

Star chasing is unhealthy

2010-03-15T22:40:00.005+08:00

Haish. One week with no proper food and sleep. Freaking tired. All my body parts ache like shit. It feels more like I did a NAPFA test ytd than going to see SHINee performed. Stupid shit. Couldnt see properly. Not once but twice! Like seriously, Warner should shut down. I dont think they even deserve to bring in SHINee and organise events for them. SHINee deserves better company pleasee!

I dont know about how others feel but to me I seriously wish that SHINee would never comeback if only BCFs were to come and block my view. I've turned evil, I know. But Im really unhappy and upset about what happened. But perhaps I should be glad cos I discovered who are the foxes and who are not. Well, everyone make mistakes and do get proud of themselves in certain ways but some are just plain annoying and completely a fox!

Oh well. Anyway, I did enjoy myself to a certain extent these few days. Hopefully, everything will be well for SHINee and their new album (: Really hope that its not another mini album but will anticipate it no matter what. And of course I hope can see dong bang back in Korea soon! I miss them too much! TT-TT Lack of their love :(

Arigatou! : D

2010-03-09T11:57:00.017+08:00

This is gonna be a quick post before I shower and get ready to go to school (:

I just wanna thank all my friends for always being there. Each day I learn that I do have more friends who care about me more than I expected it. I should care and pay more attention to them too right?

It's been nice knowing everyone of them and hopefully we can go out for random outings real soon ! : D

I have been having cravings lately, hopefully it'll come again soon so I can just find excuses to go out with these lovelies (:

Sometimes, I don't show that they care but I do. Sometimes, I act like I don't know but I do. There are many people like me too. Guess, we just have to understand each other that way. That's why I love writing letters. They say everything that can't be said through this little mouth. Although they are voiceless but they contain as much sincerity and it comes from the heart (:

I want them back. I want it NOW

2010-03-09T11:49:00.004+08:00

I wanna listen to Jae's voice all my life.
I wanna listen to my dongbang all my life.
If all other kpop stars were to cease to exist,
I would still live very well with just the 5 of them.

I don't need Kpop.
I don't need Hallyu wave esp in SG.
I don't need people to appreciate Kpop anymore.

All I need is just my 5 boys (:

A blessing in disguise

2010-03-06T21:23:00.006+08:00

Good things fall apart so that better things can fall into place.

I think right now I dont have nothing much to do. I cant force anything on anyone and I can only mourn over things that is gone. Just give me sometime, I promise I won't take long.. And before you know it I'm that bubbly girl once again.

Anyway, I believe better things are on its way so I have to recover fast and get ready to welcome them before they are snatched away (:

Till then, stay with me and cheer me on kay?

Loves you!

PS: Help me win a LG phone yeah! Vote for my dbsk emoticons can? (: (Y) DBSK IS IN MY DNA :D DBSK FTW!

FML

2010-03-06T11:51:00.003+08:00

I dont know whats wrong with her. When everybody is worrying about me, where's she? When everybody's asking me to go doctor, what is she doing? I really have no idea whether I matter anymore. Sometimes I think I always abandon her and go out too much so Im spending this holiday at home and wants to bring her out to eat or whatever. But it's always about her friends.

Whenever I planned or asked where she's going she'd be like "im having lunch with my friends. you go lah". Inside my mind I will be like "ALONE?!" She woke up like at 5 in the morning BEFORE school just to CHAT with her friends and today as she was going out, I told her I wanna use the comm since I have nothing else to do. I SAW IT. She was chatting and when she pass the comm, it was SHUTTING DOWN!

REALLY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER????????

Didn't I say that Im using the comm? Okay.The whole friends thing is really upsetting me. She never tells me anything. She planned her birthday bbq with her entire netball team and didnt even tell me anything. I only knew it just because they need NETS and need a card. I have to interview her, mind you, INTERVIEW her to get the details! WHAT DO I JUST MEAN TO HER? WHY AM I ALWAYS TRYING TOO HARD TO DO THINGS?

Tell me if she doesnt need me. Tell me if she doesnt want me to be there. Its much less hurtful that way. I dont have to be there. I dont even want to mix with her disgusting netball friends. She wasnt like this before she joined net ball. I just cant figure out what happen.

Today she's going out till late at night again. I really think it's not fair. Why do I always get scolded for going out with my friends when all she does is going out with hers? She doesn't even care about me or bothered to talk or ask about my day anymore. I don't know how else am I supposed to talk to her. Saturday has always been our day. Now, I've always been alone on that day. It's been like this for so long. Im not going hospital anymore. I'll just die alone.

Im too upset to even move an inch.

Today I learned something

2010-03-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

When my heart tells me something, I should follow it.

I kept on regretting stuffs. Not only once, twice, thrice. Million times. I regret not buying ONTO Gold edition just because I already have Black and I thought if I were to change my mind, I could still get it. And when I finally return to the store its GONE. GONE. GONE. HAISH. I was sad. ok upset and regretted it like hell. That's only what happen recently. I could have mentioned things like that in like zillion different scenarios.

And the most most most recent one is not sending BEG off. Bloody hell. Why did I stick to stay home and do work? Why did I oppose my cravings for swensens and macs ice cream? Why didn't I get changed straight away after receiving the news? HAISH And why did I keep telling myself that it's too late to go when its only 10? :<

FYI A BIG CHUNK OF WORDS IS MISSING HERE AND IM NOT TYPING IT ANYMORE. TOO TIRED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. MAIN POINT IS THAT I COULD HAVE SHOOK BEG'S HAND AND SEE THEM BUT I DIDNT, SHAUN DID AND I REGRETTED IT. I HATE HIM FOR BEING SO LUCKY ALL THE TIME. WELL, I HATE HIM LITERALLY BUT STILL. : p

Haish. I am all exposed now. I am the jealous queen lols those who ever thought that I am nice or what so ever, I am sorry to disappoint you because I am not. I got jealous damn easily. Over things like this. Small but it kinda matters? And I calm down already. hahaha It's okay. Its not SHINee. Its not DBSK. Its not Ukiss. Its not Park Shin Hye. Its not Andy Shinhwa. Its not BoA. Its not Lee Seung Gi. Its not CNblue. Its not Inyoung. Its not Hongki. Its not bigbang. Its not 2Ne1. HAHA I am making myself feels better.

BUT IF ITS JAEJOONG IM SO GONNA KILL HIM. BITES HIM TO PIECES. BURN HIM AND THROW HIM TO THE SEA FOR BABY SHARKS. I KNOW I AM MEAN AND I AM SORRY. HAHAHA

Tumblr is heaven

2010-02-28T08:10:00.004+08:00

Wait! When was the last time I blogged?

Haha! I can't remember where I left off. Did I tell you about my paper yet? Well, it was sucky. Ok, perhaps they were not sucky its just that I was so last minute. I had the entire week to study but I didn't. Being sick for 3 days was just an excuse to be honest. I could have get up and read those thick accounting and spa notes but I didnt. I slept like a pig for 3 days. And I screwed both paper. T-T I dont know if I should tell you which paper was worse because both were as bad! And I am so scared that I will have to take supp paper! Or come back for 4.2! CHOIIII!

If I were this scared, why didn't I study? Why did I watch youtube for 24/7 like crazy? I dont know. I dont know why either. Haish. It feels like everything I was fighting for is now gone. I am too sick of studying and I just want to live happily. I miss the old Lya. I miss being happy all the time. I miss jumping around and greeting everyone I see. Why am I so unfriendly now? Why am I so unhappy now? I dont have the answer. Haish. I think I should change my email soon. lols

Anyway, I went to find Glee after Accounting to pass Huiying her money.. I feel bad for letting her wait lols Did I tell you that HY or Fronda helped me buy the SHINee Awards thingy tix? : D The only thing I am not happy about is that it will be in Chinese! LOLS But who cares? I get to see them can already (: besides I'd listen hard for their Korean! I am sure I can catch a word or 2 xD Ah! I was so upset after accounting.. Simply because I know its GG. : ( But the feeling of down-ness was all washed away once I received the tix! OMG! I was freaking happy! And I told myself, I have to ace spa! lols

When I went home I was supposed to study but spent the entire time youtube-ing again! T-T I thought that I'll just get a short break but knowing me, it never happen. The next day was spent fully sleeping, again. I am turning into PIG now, I swear! I can sleep for days !!!! And started panicking on the last few hours before exam. Haish. Dumb.

I spent time with dramaqueens after spa paper and I forgot to pass Nat her money! OMG! Nat, I am so sorry kay! T-T Went with Trishy to Sushi Tei for her Job interview. Oh She re-bonded her hair and I was like "Who is this person?" when I saw her in the morning! LOLS : P

Anyway, rushed to her house and went Plaza Sing to catch Dear John. ^^ It turned out to be a nice touching movie (: but it could have been better thoughh..

Walked around 313 and got myself Hero's tank! : D WOHOOOO! Then we just do our usual chilling out thing.. (: I was happy and I forgot about my failure for spa for a moment... Was frigging tired and sleepy but I stayed on to chat and fb (:

Slept till 3 or 4 pm and then showered but couldnt meet Glee early because my landlord was praying? There were chantings and I don't even dare to go out lols So I was late T_T Lucky I still get to see everyone! I couldnt recognise pretty Narsha because she was wearing a wig.. and everyone was damn pretty can! They are prettier in real life! The first 150 was so lucky!

Narsha, Miryo, Je a and Ga In.. Haish. Glee and I were having difficulties choosing dinner. Wanted Din Tai Fung but the queue was like !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$# so we decided to have Pizzahut and Im telling you, it was really a joke. The dessert especially! We couldnt stop laughing at it! : P Btw, fanboys are scary : P

Caught From Paris With Love, its a great show! : D You should watch.. Just that the shooting things are kinda scary for me : P Didnt have our bubble tea but we talked a lot and shared a lot of things over a cup of coke and milo ( :

This morning too, we talked online. We talked about so many things and I enjoyed it ^^ Glee thanks a lot for being my friend! I LOVE YOU GIRL! : D Let's stay together okayy~

OH! I forgot to mention that I got myself a tumblr all thanks to steph! : D HAHA You should be GUILTY girl! Not honoured ! LOLS anyway, you don't wanna know the link cos it's all filled mostly with my beloved korean stuffs ( : And some other obsessions of mine ( : And I am telling you that tumblr is indeed love! Its like heaven. I don't even wanna sleep just because I don't wanna miss the smoking hot photos! : P

Anyway, my dorky boys don't only conquer Japan! They are conquering the world! Best selection is in the 1st place in the whole world. Tell me that it is some cool shit! :D They are just love man! : D I am so damn freaking proud of them! DBSK FIGHTING! ^^

13 is a Lucky Number!

2010-02-25T21:21:00.003+08:00

I still recall that my first impression when I found out that I was in 13 with index number 13.

You know that 13 resembles bad luck and everyone laughed and said the exact same sentence to me. "Bad luck loh. Good luck." I spent most of my time trying to shoo those bad things away, ignoring even a fly.. Never did it occur to me that I would regret whatever it was that I did..

I learnt that being independent and stubborn, knowing what you want to do and where you want to go is not always good. And now I am losing that bearing.. I feel so lost and I just want companies.. Sometimes I just want my old self back so it won't hurt so much.. I want it back so that I will be okay on my own.. I want it so much because I think I am better off alone...

Anyway, my entire year was spent in a flash without me even realising how sincere, real and important these people were. I took things for granted and realised it a little too late.. They are gone.. But even so, they help me a lot and cheered me up a number of times. I love these people. I love my first poly classmates. I love them so much I want to be in the same class as them again. For another semester. Just once before we separate ways. Now we are in school it isn't so bad because I'll bump into them here and there but I won't see them anymore afterwards. So, give me that one last chance to stay and treasure them. Like now, I am trying my best to keep them together. I just wish we can have a big gathering again. Chalet would be nice but we all know that it won't work out. Still, let's create a lot of wonderful memories!

If I could turn back time, I want to cherish these people from the start. But, it's never too late right? ^^ I'll cherish them from now onwards. I won't be influenced. I won't listen to others.

♥ I love these people. These people are my friends♥

I know that I am lucky.

13 is a lucky number after all..

I hate this place, I wanna live in Korea!

2010-02-24T04:47:00.008+08:00

I know I shouldnt be here at this hour, blogging. I should start reading CRS right now because there are freaking 20 chapters! And I don't even have all the notes. Frigging irritating. But putting that aside, I should get rid of my angsts no matter what.

Recently everyone seems to love Kpop if it were not for BOF and so many other reasons I would be happy. I mean I am indeed happy seeing that Kpop is growing and gaining recognition everywhere.. It means that I wont seem so foolish talking about something that only I know anymore.. But it has become overrated and I HATE IT!

These new "fans" are the WORST of all.. Shouldn't they be ashamed of themselves? Calling themselves fans when all they do is scream and judge everyone by their looks. And btw, their judgements do the artists no right! These fakers don't know a single shit and yet they are making it like they own the world.. They don't know what the artists went through and how hard they worked, practiced and try.. I don't give a shit if these fakers do no harm to DBSK but they are and I am PISSED!

I know not all new fans are bitches but please call yourself a fan when you know their songs, get their albums and support them throughout.. I don't expect everyone to buy the albums but I do expect all fans to know their songs or the members! How can one only know 1 member of the group because he is so godly handsome and call herself a fan! Are you kidding me!

And I hate how everyone is "LOVING" kpop. I hear nobody ringtones everywhere.. Buses, MRT, everywhere! And I hate it.. If you think it's the "IN" thing, IT IS SO NOT PLEASE! I am not against WG or anything, its just because it is sickening... Last time if I heard any Kpop ringtones I would smile and be so proud of it because it was REAL and GENUINE.. Now, it is like people are taking it as trends and they just don't get how tough it was for the artists to be where they are right now.. These people are shits..

And what's with local mags? Tell me, is 30,000 more than 300,000?!! The difference may be just 1 zero but it makes a lot of diff okay! Why are the local mags make so much fuss about 30,000 in stead of 300,000?! Oh, I forgot! Its all money they want and DBSK is NOT the trend right now.. Those local fakers are not staying to wait till the disputes over or they don't care at all.. Oops, I forgot that they don't even have the right to care because we all know that they are just following what's the "IN" thing... So, they choose to "FORGET" about DBSK completely and wrote SHITS on their mags... It is totally disappointing! Even wikipedia gives better info!

How can one be the Korea TOP NO 1 idol when the netizens DON'T even know him/her!! Ridiculous! And why they make a fuss over merely 30,000 record when DBSK broke 14 years Oricon history and Elton John's record!!!! Please note, it's 14 years! Not 1! Not 4! Its 14! And It's Elton John! TSK They are all hypocritesz!! I hate them!

And among any other great dancers in Korea, U-know Yunho is chosen to be part of Michael Jackson Concert!!! He was hand-picked by the producer of 'This is It'! And why hasn't anyone make a fuss of it? I used to love Cassieopeia but I don't know about it anymore.. I am happy that DBSK has more fans now.. I am happy that Kpop is growing.. I am happy for the artists but I rather it not happen because everyone are so just not genuine!

GAH! I don't know if there's any use complaining of things here but I really hate local media.. I hate this place... When I listen to Kpop in public people would look at me thinking that I am like them but I am NOT!

I love DBSK first. I like SHINee first. I like Kpop first. I know I used to hate it but years back but I love it earlier than these fakers. I spent 24 hours in front of my laptop screen just to follow up on them. My heart exploded on the day their single was released because I had waited for too long for it. I pre-ordered all the different version of albums and singles way before the release. I jumped when I received my CD. I kept it in the cupboard and never to touch them again after I received them because I am scared that I will spoil it. I treat my CDs & DVDs like they are GODS. I sing their songs zillion times a day! And I continue waiting for them even when they are away. I forgive their mistakes on performance and cheer them on. I cried so many times because of them- on their concert, when they sing, their comments, etc. I watched them grow. I see them stumbled. I saw their tears. And I love them still.

I AM DIFFERENT FROM THEM! I AM NOT KPOP NO 1 FAN BUT I AM GENUINE. And I am so NOT gonna share my beloved idols with these kind of shameful people. I know that I am selfish but I dont care. Hate me all you want, I dont give a damn.

Although I really love having them in Singapore and see them in real life, I'd rather fly to Korea and find my angels than having them getting "loved" by local fans.. They should reflect on how aggressive they are.. I am not gonna let my dong bang get hit, pushed, pulled, held or anything else! They are so not gonna trip, fall or get injured because of stupid stalkers!

Ah, I don't recall there being so many kpop fans in 2008! When it was time for Kpop Night, so many people were DYING to sell off their tix! OMJ! And there were so little people in the airport sending or welcoming them! You wanna say that's because they are not popular, yet? TSK. There were WG, 2PM, Ukiss, Chaeyon! PLEASE! 2PM is SO HOT right now! So many people love them! Ukiss is rising popularity too.. Isnt nobody everyone's fav too? TSK If you are only gonna love people who are popular and big hits, you are so not a fan. and I HATE YOU.

I wonder why I have become so angsty, rude and bad. I must really have missed my dorky boys so much. I don't like how SHINee seems to be proud of themselves because they are popular. It is true that they have the rights to be proud but I want to see these boys grow and mature. I want to see them perform like how I see dongbang. I like them and I wish I can continue to.. Hopefully, they will stay humble like dongbang. They have a long way to go and I would stay to support if they stay as humble as they first debuted.

I need my daily dosage of DBSK then I will go to bed! After pouring everything out, it seems like I have calmed down ( : I am a hapy girl again ^^ Lya, Hope to the End and AKTF~~!

Is it so hard to understand what is it that they have been trying to tell us?

The tattoo-es and now it's the shirt.

"The butterfly went to heaven and became a butterfly necktie."

2010-02-20T18:22:00.002+08:00

참나!!! I cant study!!!

My body parts are just too sick and tired... Everything aches : ( how!! I want to see Onew 상태 now lols! GAHHHH he is too adorablee! His first kiss was with a sheep!

ahhhhhhh. okok. im going baco to thte book :(

Just when I was thinking about Junsu, a van of "Aqua DOLPHIN" passed : )

2010-02-20T17:52:00.001+08:00

GAHH! I'm dead tired. Why do I still feel so jelly like when everything is over?

I really wanted to see Junsu that's all and why did the whole world go against me?

Geez, anyway, thanks a lot NAT!!! LOVE YOU MY LIFE SAVIOUR!!!

But if it were a scam, I die.. Gone my money gone : ( Anyway, I hope for the best (:

There are so many other things I wanna say to you, but it feels like I don't have much time now. I'll leave it till we meet again okay! : D I hate the way things work in this world, but I love you!

Come to my dream every nights! :D

"I might not know where you are or what you are doing right now, but if you hear my voice will you come to me?" - Onew

"When Taemin was watching pikachu, noona was in college." - Jonghyun

"I haven't been chosen yet because I didn't want to get picked." - Onew

"I was especially influenced by HOT, SES, BoA, and DBSK sunbaenims" - Key

"But, remember, the ones we love will never leave us, they will always be found right here. (English)" - Taemin

Real friends are just hard to find, I hate SM

2010-02-09T20:39:00.006+08:00

I see at how close some people are and sometimes jealousy just bursts out my chest. Not because of the people but because of the bond. How can they easily find lovely and caring friends when it took me so long to even find 1.. Now that I have them, I feel very lucky.. Do these people feel the same? Or do they take it for granted?

I really hope that they realised that they are very lucky to have them around.. And keep them no matter what.. I will stop trying now...

I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM I hate SM 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The KEY Reflection

2010-02-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

They say I shall wait a little longer and stop whining. I know I need to get rid of all my bad habits and I shall get started.. And you know what? I used to be someone who would always try to look for the good in people.. No matter how much bad things I heard about someone I would not believe them and would find excuses just to make things logical.. I have never thought that one could do such horrible things..

But now, I just bitch or say about them too.. And to be very honest, I am very disappointed with myself..Shouldn't I be more understanding and what's with talking about them to others.. No one would understand and besides they'd just think that I am bad for complaining..

Ah, anyway, I really have to change!

I shall start reflecting or SHINee won't come back

2010-02-03T23:17:00.005+08:00

What if someone you know is not who he/she really is?

Even though I myself have a kinda different personality when I am with my friends and family but I just find it upsetting. This is merely a thought ok.. I thought that I knew 그 친구, 하지만 잘못했다.. 슬픈지.. 정말 슬픈지.. 실망도.. TSK. There's nothing I can do. Honestly.

I just hope things won't get awkward after this. Even when I kept telling myself that it's fine, it is not. You know I have been taking things for granted and I am trying to change here. I don't ever want to waste a single soul and especially it's someone that I regard as a friend.. Stupid me. Shouldn't have thought of making friends with anyone already luh. If it's just gonna give me dilemma and make me upset the entire time.

I begin to wonder why do I always have like tonnes of problems ahead? What's next? Well, it's not exactly a problem but since it is something related to my friends it is related to me and besides it requires a lot of thinking you know! It makes me feel really tired : (

ARGHH! 지쳤어요! : ( I wanna sleep now! how! Okay, I knw. Sleep now. Wake up early do? Yes. Smart. BUT. The possibility of me waking up early is like 0.001%? But I shall give it a shoot.

Btw, I shall tell you more about my star chasing yesterday another time ok? I will definitely blog about it but not now. Im left with like only 5 minutes batt haha

I AM SO MISSING SHINee ALREADY! JONGHYUN AH! ONEW AH!

in the end, I am back to my dino!

Neglecting key once again and this time I picked up Onew : D

Just saw them last night and they are looking HOT already!

Key, is you hair really real? It was red, green and blue ytd... But i love it!

The whole Singapore went to see them SHINed!

2010-01-31T19:54:00.004+08:00

I feel like dying now!

I can't get enough of them!

Finally everything is over! After such a long wait and all the uncomfortable sleeping and sitting at the pavements.. After all the anxiety and nervousness as well as trembling after seeing slight views of their faces from a far...

Yesterday I had my cya duty and one thing I really hate myself was for not seeing FT Island when I was actually at Transfer E for sometime too!! haish If only I did not run back to T1 to settle certain stuffs and stayed a little longer, I would have seen them! Ohmy jaejin, jonghun and seunghyeon! :( sad! And lucky Shaun, got to wear their sunglasses! damn! I wonder why he always suck all my luck? Or do I don't have any luck in the first place?

Anyway, was supposed to meet Glee at DB MRT with Angela at 11 straight after duty but I went off at 11! lols so I headed to CCK on my own.. Reached there around midnight and found my way around.. Lot one is actually a shopping centre! haha When I reached there were like so many ppl and I was so worried that we weren't the first 1000 ppl to gain the autograph!

But it turned out that I was the 454th while Glee was 455th followed by Angela as the 456th person! LUCKY! And we spent our time eating, watching videos, chatting, taking photos, sitting and sleeping.. As time passed, we were arranged into proper seating arrangement (sitting in a group of 5) to ensure that there was no one cutting queue! Many weren't happy with the number system though as they came late (in the 31st morning).. As a result they did not granted numbers as the 1000 limit had been met.. People complained and made crude remarks towards us who had been waiting since 12am while they came at 7 or 8am! It kinda piss me off actually because it seems like logic doesn't work well with their brain.. But anyway, conflicts and fights were the last thing every fan wished for as the autograph session would be called off straight away if they were to take place..

Our heart raced as we got to the roof top and guess what? I found Lin fang working there! Holy crow! she got to see SHINee up close and work with them :( You can't imagine how much happiness and anticipation was on the air after we scratched our "lucky draw" cards! I got Jonghyun at first and I screamed because I was so contented but I exchanged it for Onew who you know I like a lot and ended up having Key as the King of the day! haha Glee, Shaun and I were jumping and floating on the air man! haha

I couldn't get to see the stage due to my height constraint and the huge numbers of banners were on air as well as cameras! so I basically saw nothing.. But I got to pass Key his scheduler and he said "Hi", "Thank you", "Bye", and "Sorry" to me! He looked rather down and not as smiley as I expected him to be.. I was rather disappointed but perhaps the reason was because he just lost his grandparents so I decided to let the matter rest..

Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin and Onew smiled and nodded at me! I can't recall who said "Hi" or "Annyeong" and who did not.. So let's just assume no one said anything.. haha I discovered that Bling Bling has very small eyes! and his lip is actually pretty thick? But he is still as good looking.. Flaming charisma Minho has huge eyes!He was wearing brown contact lenses.. We had eye contact before he gave me a nod and small line of smile.. Taemin is as smiley as Junsu DBSK.. He looks very polite, fragile and respectful.. He smiled his beautiful smile at me and it made my day! It was really pretty! His hair too, actually looks much nicer than on tv! : D Lastly my angel Onew! HE IS SO FULL OF SMILES! BIG SMILES! and I jsut can't stop looking at how huge his mouth was open when he smile.. and his expression of happiness and joy was priceless! :D Also, he talked to fans eh!!! :( I really regretted for not choosing my favourite angel.. but if I didn't take Key, I wouldnt be able to see everyone up close and love them even more!

So there's pros and cons for every choice and as much as I said that I regretted my choice, I think I made the right decision.. Glee and I was crying our heart out at subway and took some more photos before we went home.. I kept falling asleep in the mrt! No matter how much I tried to stay awake, my effort was to no avail!

Things may be over for now, but I can feel that there will be more and more kpop activities in Singapore and I can foresee myself being super busy real soon! So please wait for my return yeah! 기다리주세요! I will be back to my normal super Kpop fans! I cant wait to see photos of them too! YAY!

Credit: as tagged + Angela

They Shine, that's why!

2010-01-30T01:23:00.005+08:00

I just reached home!

Well, it has been a very long day for me and its very tiring but I got to see Minho and Jonghyun from a far and I kinda catch Key except for his face :( overall, I am in love with jonghyun and minho lah! lols what im sad about is that i onli saw onew's hair! and totally missed taemin! but, im oretty lucky to have even spotted them considering my height and the crowd! I do really hope I get to see them again ( :

Lastly, JAE IS BACK WITH HIS BLONDE HAIR! LOVELY!

Sleepy head

2010-01-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

I am so sleepy but I am not even done reading CRS report. :( how now? I have been sleeping the entire day and yet I am still so sleepy. -.- ah! I dont know how tmr will go but I dont think I'll be able to join my group for ktv anymore :( Cos I need to get windows 7 software :( Friday is the last day but since I can't skip culi to just collect it... I have to collect by 5pm tmr :(

Haish,, and I can't imagine the amount of things I have to carry this Friday :( Like a lot of things.. But it's okay.. I have to clear things and clean my room as soon as possible.. CNY is around the corner and my room is like TITANIC... Things are scattered here and there haha

And I am so confused.. I dont know what to expect on Friday. Even if I were to leave early to go home to shower first I think I would still miss them :( Glee, HOW! I dont know if I can even go loh.. Sad life. But, I'll see how and definitely I'll try to squeeze everything in...

Hopefully I have the time to go to Lot 1 first on Saturday before going for CYA.. I see how.. Glee, Im sorry yeahh.. I really really want to go but I dont know if I can even go or not.. Like things are very vague right now and I hate it to not know if I can make it or not :(

You tatoo-ed my heart, Ruby

2010-01-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAE JOONG!

I woke up in the morning, more like afternoon though, not realising that it's already Tues! 26 Jan! Stupidd. Like I've been waiting for the day to come and when it comes I can't remember it?! haha. Skipped lecture wanting to spend my whole time relaxing at Coffee Bean at Parkway and find some nice laptop.. But then changed my mind and went to Funan..

You know that I am always an indecisive creature.. haha so I took so long to decide what to get.. I even texted basically everyone on earth! Kinda regret getting Hp cos I do like Toshiba too.. Well, its too late now. I can't turn back time and what I chose isn't that bad anyway.. (:

I am going to take care of Ruby and she's gonna live a long life ^^ ah! I forgot that she share the same birthday as Jae! lol should I be happy about it?

Anyway, I think I am not gonna see my SHINee and FTI anymore.. There are plans and yeah. Crazy. Im gonna have to work hard from tomorrow onwards, again.. Yeah. I should get everything done and get to live my life happily afterwards. Hows that sound?

Again and again

2010-01-24T20:00:00.004+08:00

Hello World! Lya's here doing project again.. and this time with Selina's kind soul I manage to do work using a laptop again! although I meet some obstacles along the way due to my unfamiliarity of Linux..... I spent time searching for the problem till 6am.... -.- But I feel blessed that I have a laptop to use now...

Okay, I shall get back to work and yeah.. All the best for me for tmr presentation!

Animal costume equals fashion!

2010-01-19T15:16:00.003+08:00

Here I am again.. At block G lab doing projects. This time round my eyes cant take it anymore and my body aches like mad especially my neck. I wonder why :( With no music to accompany me and no entertainment I managed to finish TTB... And now I shall get going with CSIT.. I should finish this faster and get rid of this miseryy..

I should repair Nia's laptop soon and get mine too.. Damn it, why can't I just make up my mind already? Okay, its either Toshiba or HP now...

I deserve some support and let SHINee boys support me! (Y)

Technology eats your life

2010-01-18T13:16:00.004+08:00

(Y) It's my 500th post! (Y)

It may seem super little but I am proud that I manage to keep this blog this far.. haha I don't normally keep a blog this long so its an achievement okay? : )

Anyway, I am now in school as in TAS doing my project and taking a break right now. This place is super noisy and you can't imagine how irritated I am right now.. But I wont go into details. Ah! I have some photos from Best of Jonghyun.. I haven't been there for a long time and I decided to go in again... ( : So perhaps to refresh myself a little, I'll just post several photos from SHINee Night.. If only it isn't cost so much, I'd definitely getting it.. But, should save money for my SMtown or DBSK concert ( :

No laptop equals no life. May be I have been wasting my life so much in my virtual world that's why it feels so empty.. I can't see my beloved me2day page and it feels like I am missing things.. haha Also, not being able to charge my ipod means music-less journey home : ( and doing projects feel very troublesome.. Spent most of my time looking for cybercafes instead of google-ing.. What a waste of time and it makes me feel very tired..

Anyway, Saturday crew celebrated Mariann's birthday after duty. We invited Woon Jiun and went for supper at our usual place, Macs.. Mariann was surprised and we were happy ^^ I chatted with a Korean man.. He was moderately nice but thanks to my idiocy and my lack of ability to speak Korean, I ruined my chance : ( My mind just went blank, suddenly forgot how to say many things and it simply came back after duty. dumb. But I am happy that he knows DBSK.. I mean, who doesn't know them but he says he likes too! : D
Hopefully, this marks the start of my Korean learning journey lols I should learn more actively and speak fluently in the future ( : GO LYA!

Sunday was a project-meeting day.. It's CSIT in particular. We met to finish up the work and tour around Chinatown. It was a fun yet tiring excursion like trip.. But I guess we learned a lot about Chinatown... Look forward to presentation okay? We have a little surprise for you! : D

I have nothing much to share at this moment because all I know is that my head aches madly and I think I did the wrong research for TTB. But, I am not going to delete it.. I'll just leave it there for future reference.. Who knows it is needed for something else? ( :

Okay, I'll continue TTB research... I'll write again soon! Till then, take care! : D

I am walking in circles

2010-01-16T12:17:00.003+08:00

Finally after days, I can go online again. Even though with some crappy com from a cheap internet cafe. Damn it, I dont understand why my laptop's screen just refuse to work for me.. :[ well, it's my sis' laptop.. so in a way it is mine too right?

Haish, one thing I know is that I am thankful that it refuse to work after FEM was done or else I would have killed myself.. Just imagine that my com black out when I was in the middle of rushing FEM.. HORROR.. Anyway, since it never happened, I am thankful.. But now my TTB and CSI to risk.. Damn it really damn it :[

Gosh, I really hope that my sis' lappie will get well soon.. I need it urgently.. I have talked to it daily and it only makes me look like a fool :( and it doesnt get any better.. This tempts me to do sth.. If I were to drop it, will it be alright instantly? haha

Anyway, I have been thinking.. It seems like i turn out to be someone who look for others when I am in need.. I hate it! Although I am sure I dont do it but it seems like people have been helping me to do things and yet I have never helped them.. And I just dont know how to approach others for casual talk and all.. It's just seem weird and I dont want people to think that I am not genuine.. : (

May be my mood how adays have been down or bad.. and I know that there are people out there who care and are willing to listen to me.. But I have been full of myself and it has always been about me me and me.. They have not talked anything about themselves and I want to be at least a friend who will listen to their problems if its the least that I can do.. :( But sadly, I dont know how to say these things to them.. I have no idea how to convey my sincerity so I'll leave it.. What matters is that I'll be there when they need me... So, hopefully when they are troubled, they'll find me... And one thing that I want them to know is that, I will try to not only look for them when I need help.. Because I dont want to take advantage of your kindness and I simply dont want to be that kind of person.. It disgusting.. The truth is that I feel embarrassed myself to find people when I need help and I am just not the kind of person who will talk and ask people for any other casual occasions..

Im also too used to doing things on my own.. I mean everyone has their own agenda n priority.. Who am I to stop them from doing that just to follow my own agenda? I don't ask ppl to accompany me because I dont want to disturb them or be a burden to them.. So I just barely grow up doing things on my own.. At first it was lonely, but I got used to it and my perception changed.. I told myself that I know what I want to do and I dont need anyone to help me.. I can do it myself.. Now, I am just too used to it to pick up my phone n call or sms a friend to go with me.. Besides, I think I have another issue.. I am afraid of rejection.. Better to stay this way than hurt right? I am just a coward after all..

Talking about friends.. I think I have been helping strangers more than I help my own friends.. I should get my priority right.. My friends should come first right? But it seems easier to communicate with strangers sometimes and helping ppl just give you satisfaction...

Oh, there is another thing that has been bothering me.. I dont know why people just treat me like.... I dont know.. They are harsh and unfriendly with me when they are obviously enjoying themselves with others.. Like I said before, I dont expect much from others but I'd prefer to have them smile at me at least... It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me.. Is it because I am too courteous? I dont know why sometimes I am so courteous or respectful or anything like it.. I dont usually call names or scold but is it a bad thing? haish

May be you'd say that I am just to sensitive and perhaps I am really very sensitive over this kind of things.. But it doesnt explain anything because I know what I feel is real..
I dont even know why am I still so nice and courteous to them.. I should treat them back the same, shouldnt I? Why hurt myself further? I must be really silly..

Anyway, I shall get started with project or else I wont be in time to meet Nia later.. ( : and just ignore everything I said okay. I doubt it even makes any sense.. Its just something that I have been pondering about (:

Have a great weekend before all the nightmares (:

Everything just went back to square one

I dreamt a wonderful dream

2010-01-13T02:42:00.002+08:00

Hello again! : D

Hey! I am pretty happy right now.. Not because that Im almost done with projects, but because the people around me (: I am so happy to find people who offered help, encourages and cheer me up.. I just realised how lucky I am to have all of them with me... Even though they do not behave that way normally, I am so touched seeing everyone being kind (:

May be later on if I ever get time to take a nap and get up things will change.. May be, everything will come back to normal in a few hours and this will feel be forgotten just like many past dreams.. But, I shall remember that my friends are the best and I love them! : D

They worth all the love in the whole universe for bringing me happiness as huge as the moon! : D

PS: Taemin is so cute! HEEEE

And I haven't even touched Accounting!

2010-01-12T23:31:00.003+08:00

Hello World!

How are you doing? Hopefully you are doing much better than I am now.. I dont know if I should be thankful that the deadline is tomorrow or should I be damn worried?
Well, its a mixture of both I supposed? With more worry than relief sadly.. :( There are a lot undone and I have neither the faith nor the strength to carry on... Damn it. I know instead of whining here I should be doing it so I'll get to go to bed later!

But things are just endless.. It feels like I have been doing one thing after another.. The list just go one.. I wonder why... It really makes me feel like I am dying :( The least you can do for me now is keep me awake....

Oh please, Lya's not that easy to beat!

2010-01-11T22:20:00.003+08:00

Im so sleepy and yet I have to finish up FEM.. haish this has been a nightmare,, If only I can tell you the entire story right now or ever, may be I'd feel much better.. Or at least I'll have someone understanding my position.. For now may be I'll just share the burden with Sindy darling.. I'm sorry dear that you have to see the bad side of me all the time... I'll make it up to you some day by smiling more and making you happy too okayy! : D Hopefully, the days are around the corner ( :

Btw, just received DBSK stuffs and I am so happy to the max! I am serious! The feeling is like I've just won some lottery! haha okay, it doesnt erase my fatigue though.. :( but, it at least eases how bad I want to see them back! haha and Jae has been spotted to be in Canada with Hyunjoong! Gosh! Can the 2 of them stop being so close already! I am getting jealous! lols kidding..

AH! I had Garuda for lunch again! YAY! BUT NOT YAY! :( just said that I want to cut down on all the oily stuffs, didnt I? and yet I ate it in just a day! haish.. looking at this rate I'll be having heart attack at the age of 23! Stop all the oil going LYA!

Nice day and I should be sleeping by now but I wont! Come on Lya! You can do it! Faster finish it and rest! : D

SHINee's coming and I can't go see them! SOB!

2010-01-10T15:52:00.003+08:00

I have been very emo these few days.. haha I dont know what is really wrong with me.. First I fell from the escalator, I was marked absent for Accounting class which may even cause me to get a non-graded pass! and I cut myself again during culi.. haish and now, I cant even see SHINee! WHAT THE SHIT LUH! 8S I'm so pissed.....

Yesterday, I finally went for CYA! saw my beloved crew and had fun.. Although I was so stressed and hungry earlier on.. It was really frustrating with a lot to do and today when I am supposed to do so much more of it, I dont feel like doing anything :[ Some motivation please?

No matter how much I think about it, I still think that I won't get it.. But I shall list them down and have some optimism.. What I wanna do this year:

1. Improve my GPA. No matter what I'm gonna get 3.5!

2. Be healthy! Shall cut down all the fried food and take less chili and sodium.. It's really going to be hard but I shall do it for my own good. I dont want to get stroke or whatever it is when Im only 25..

3. Exercise. I shall play badminton more often and jog too. NAPFA coming and I want to at least pass it.. haha and I miss the feeling of being healthy after all the exercises. Should I start going back to gym too?

4. Take Korean language classes. I am not sure if I should take up Advanced Japanese next sem. May be if I can find a friend to go with and push me to study, I would take it.. May be then I shall talk to Ms. Choi and see if it's possible.. If not, then forget it.. But, I can't give up on Korean. Im going to take it no matter what.. The problem is, where.. Hummm....

5. See DBSK's concert! I know with all the rumors now it is unlikely that they are going to have Asia tour concert.. But, I really hope that this blow will soon pass and concert on its way damn soon! Even if it's just a SMtown concert.. I'll fly to even Atlanta to see it! I dont care! As long as I can see them again.. It's been so long since I see and hear about them.. I am so not willing for them to break up! haha I know I am such a fan and I dont care what people say.. I am obsessed, yes.. I am crazy, yes.. I am too much, yes.. haha no effect : D As long as dong bang exists, I am a happy girl! To me, DBSK = ETERNAL HAPPINESS :D

Anyway, I should rest for awhile and things done pretty soon! Before Im going nuts with all of these projects! :D You too, shall work hard and finish whatever it is soon okay! :D Good luck to all HTM students and may we survive this semester! ^^

Take care love

Jump into the feeling

2010-01-07T00:19:00.005+08:00

Today, Theresa asked me why I kept buying them stuffs. As long as I can recall, its has only been twice? And it's not that Im getting some diamond rings or what.. haha to be honest I was stunned.. haha I dont know how to tell them because Im not a straight forward kind of person.. Sometimes what came out from my mouth isnt exactly something that I wish to say..

Its just because they have been nice to me and considering that I am not even close to them nor I am in their clique.. In fact, I dont have much common topic to talk to them too.. Its not like I have so much to talk to others but you get my point.. and even though they are not close to me they are still welcoming, friendly and helpful unlike some people. haishh

And to think about it, I didnt even hang out with them in year one.. Actually I didnt hang out with anyone in year 1.. Surely I was a loner... But at least at some point of time they were more like friends to me.. And I do regard them as friends.. I dont know there is just something that makes me feel more comfortable having fun around them and I quite like it except for the fact that things can turn out awkward haha..

You know sometimes presence isn't always the focal point of a relationship.. If you spend a lifetime with someone so selfish and don't even care about you, can you still call them friends? I'd rather be lonely than hurt that way..

Hmm, actually earlier this sem I was planning to go lecture with some friends from year one.. I was sincerely offering help and planning things but it seems that things will just get awkward and I really hate it when I am pressed to choose who to go lecture with.. It's not like all of them can just click and I do have to make sacrifices right? I do love them equally.. Well, may be a little bit more here and there but I do love all of them all the same.. how can I make choices..

I ended up letting go people who I think should know and understand my actions.. They called me liars but drop it not long afterwards.. I did feel bad I couldnt even look at their eyes and start conversation with them but I know that things just go back to normal and I dont think I'll try doing that again.. Trying too hard to keep my friends around, ending up losing them too..

I am not someone who is used to ask for help. I find it awkward and I hate it. But I am glad that when I really need one, you are willing to lend me a hand.. It makes me feel that I dont kill my pride for nothing and makes me feel glad for having you around! : D There's still 1 year to go, let's just have a lot of fun together! We wont know what the future may bring us so enjoy life when we can! I wish you all the happiness the earth contains! If there is ever one thing you want to remember, it is that I am here for you and will always be.. let me know when you need a helping hand (: loves you!

Slurp slurp, Ok I won't hope

2010-01-05T21:02:00.003+08:00

Hey ya!

How are you guys doing? Well, I supposed everyone is sleep deprived right? All thanks to the number of tests we, HTM students are having and the number of projects due this month! This is madness! I have like Culi, CSIT, FEM and TTB to do! and not to mention, my beloved accounting to study! You know I suck at maths :[

I am so not going to survive! but coming back for 4.2 is a total no no! Guess I'd just have to work so much harder than this and stop complaining :[ That will be another new year resolution! haha

Anyway, we are planning to have secondary school reunion soon! haha it happened quite randomly and I guess everyone is just missing everyone! : D but we wont be seeing each other for the next 2 months at least.. Im quite glad that we do at least wish to see each other again ( :

And looking at food photos taken during one of many family dinners makes me really hungry right now : ( This dinner was different because my aunt was there and the food was not bad ( ; although I still prefer Lembur Kuring but Lumbung was nice ^^

And you know what? Yoosujae and yoo hwan was spotted at Sydney Airport earlier on today! I mean 5 jan 2010! How cool was that! : { I also wanna see them! Min is having his filming at Ausie too and I heard ho gonna fly there too! cool shit! will they transit to sg? HEEEE anyway, I wonder what are they doing there.. Hopefully they have fun : D

It always feels good when you know people care

2010-01-04T02:01:00.003+08:00

I'm surprised that you are looking out for me. Thank you.

I appreciate it (:

I never want to hate my life, but I have to

2010-01-03T20:01:00.005+08:00

I am back in Singapore!

Yeah, I'm finally back here, again.. Kinda feels that life sucks this way.. They bring you the ups and then let you feel the downs.. I understand that balance should exist but it just sucks.. Who don't love having all the fun, being with the people you love and just enjoy every moment of life?

And this holiday sets me thinking much more than usual.. I don't know if it should be a good thing or not but things just scare and bother me.. Things like family.. When I was young, I always think that adults are like Gods.. I don't think they make mistakes.. Like big mistakes.. Always thought that they have a lot more experience and all they want is what is best for their loved ones.. So even though I was never a good daughter, I always think that they are right.. I'm pretty rebellious but I know inside my heart I should have listened to them.. But, I'm wrong this time round..

Adults are just normal human.. They make stupid mistakes.. They cry, laugh and have weaknesses too.. They are not perfect and no matter what they do, they cant have everything their way and they are childish too..

It just scares me.. I don't know how to exactly explain this because this just is just weird.. There is something inside me that is really bothered by that fact and I have yet to figure that part out.. I don't understand why do I have to be scared but isn't the idea of growing up too fast scares you? I mean I'm getting older each day, each minute, each second and yet I am nothing close to being a grown up.. An adult.. I'm still to childish to survive on my own.. I wonder what kind of person I'll be? What kind of adult? Will I still be me? May be I won't realize it at that point of time that I have changed or matured and it's going to make me a different person... What if it is a bad thing? Will there be anyone to tell me that its wrong still?

I don't know this is ridiculous, I know but I am scared of change.. Not that I don't want to mature but I am scared that I will ignore and draw a lone from people that used to matter a great deal to me, treat them differently and have them as strangers.. :[ its so sad don't you think? I have seen how different people can be.. How they change... And it is obviously disappointing but I can't run away from it.. I can't tell you how much it hurts especially when you heard bad things about them and you refuse to believe it and you found out how true it is.. Or worse you see it yourself.. It really sets you thinking, who the hell is he?! Or he used to call me this, he used to say this, asks this, begs this and that.. Or we used to do this together, we used to play that, talk about this, joke and laugh at that, eat this, drink that.. But what happened? Thousands more questions came up of course.. You only have 1 answer though.. He has changed.. Just that.. And it hurts :( My heart aches badly : (

Ah! Ignore me please! I kinda lose my sense right now.. Have too much in my mind and just need to spit everything out.. haha okay may be a little update of what I did during the holiday? Humm, I can't probably remember anymore so why not start with 26 December? I'll only say what I remember doing (:

I came back to Singapore on 26th n I was sick.. I thought that I was dying haha luckily got better Had plan to fly to Jakarta really suddenly.. It was shocking but I did not have the heart to reject my mum.. I rejected her for billion of times already.. Some more this time round is for my sister.. I should do something good for her once in a while right? Ended up missing Accounting, again.. Which means that I have to work triple hard now! (speaking of triple, they have triple cheese burger in Mac donald Samarinda! OMG! haha!)

Anyway, flew to Jakarta after 4 days being in Singapore.. That was the coolest thing I have ever done! Stayed up late to finish projects and stuffs but it was not as easy as I thought it would be.. and guess what? I am still doing it up until now! haish, I need to speed up! : {

I was kinda cheated for the trip to Jakarta because I forgot that doctors are away on the New Year's day! and they close early on the New Year's Eve! Great! haha On Wednesday, 30 dec, my dad and brothers went to see doctors already but my dad gotta come back for some other things another day.. Afterwards, they fetch me and my sis at the airport.. Like I said, Gavin drove. I was happy to see everyone including my used-to-be-closed cousins.. Really.. But things are a little awkward? I don't know what is wrong, things just change.. I think it's just foolish of me to expect a lot.. Now may be you know why I don't expect a lot from others.. Because hopes always fail me..

Anyway, it was already late when I arrived so all we could do was to go back to the hotel and take photos! haha ok, we went for dinner first and then I had my first facial! : D I kinda like it? But I shouldn't do it often.. haha Han-han was so funny,, I can still recall how bored he was and how angry he was after all the pain he went through and how many scoldings I got from him afterwards.. haha Then went back to room to do project then rest..

Friday morning we went to see doctor till afternoon and then move to Dusit Hotel (the name has changed but I cant seem to recall it : P) I cant rmb what we did next because I think we spent most of the time resting and I walked around Mangga Dua for a while to get some food. Bought a new shirt and the shop closes! haha So little time we had : ( we refers to my mum and I.. I cant rmb where was the rest? lols Because, coincidentally my uncle from Balikpapan was in Jakarta too, my aunts and the rest planned family dinner to celebrate the new year..

We were supposed to eat at 7 but we got out from the hotel at 7 lols We really took a long time to bathe and get ready : P Ate at Canton Bay at Plaza Senayan.. Food wasn't bad and I thought I'd have a great time but I should have sat with my mum and siblings.. It would be fun.. We went back to hotel and counted down there.. From our room, we can see awesome fireworks! It's really awesome! seriously! It was playing for like 5 to 10 minutes? and It was so pretty! so many colours n types! and some are near some are far.. There was a straight line of fireworks! Awesome ttm! : D

On the 1st 3 families went to Taman Safari! : D Its like Singapore Zoo? Difference is that there were so much more things to do inside besides looking at animals and watch shows.. Its the driving type.. So you'd have to drive pass the animals which are free to move around.. We bought a lot of carrots to feed them (: it was a lot of fun! : D although the journey there take hours due to the heavy traffic jam but It is really worth it!

I rode a camel, fed zebras, deers, bulls and many more.. Watched cowboy show which is really fantastic! Ate a lot of food and the weather was cooling and nice (: I would love to come back again! But it was really tiring.. We went out early in the morning at around 9 (which was way behind schedule due to some unforeseen circumstances) and reached Jakarta back at midnight! Went to Ie Achai's house and saw her dog, Bonso.. I havent seen him for only 2 years and he is like so HUGE! Well, his head is small but his body is damn big.. and he is not tall.. so he looks kinda weird.. Still, he is cute ( :

Yesterday, i spent 2 hours shopping.. Woke up late so was out quite late too.. Mum was mad like crazy.. Cant rmb why she was so angry.. : ( I can't really shop because she kept worrying bout this and that and was angry about this and that.. haish.. It was pretty hard to find gifts.. Horribly expensive man! I normally go there and shop but I dont recall the price being so steep? Anyway, bought a few clothes! yay! Like really a few : ( I didnt have the time.. Wanted to stay and shop but I spouted that I wanted to watch 4D with my siblings and uncle... so my mum insisted that I follow them! OMG! Like seriously she was that angry... My aunt laughed at me! haha I wanted to stay but my mum didnt want me.. :( In the end I had not shopped enough : ( Luckily, in Samarinda I did my shopping (: HEEEEE

Guys' clothes are really really expensive there! Crazy! It was so hard to find a good deal loh! I'd rather get from a shopping mall.. lols There were so many nice shirts and tee but the price is too high so Im sorry, I can't get all of you a gift haha.. Budget constraint : P

I shall go to sleep now or else I wont be able to wake up tomorrow morning : ( I hate school life.

Anyway, photos are up on fb! : D

Everything about him attracts me

Enjoy yourself Lya! : D

2009-12-29T23:27:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

Gee, now I find it kinda awkward to write and blog haha I'll just get used to doing it again soon.. I'm sorry to many if I seem kinda different lately.. Well, I don't know how different have I been recently but I feel that I have been acting differently in a weird way? Like I don't really have topics to talk about with anyone.. I prefer to stay quiet on my own and I don't know why I am always sleepy so I don't reply smses or give only a word or two on a phone call.. I am sorry..

Anyway, I am writting this from the airport! How amazing is that! I am actually flying to Jakarta till Sunday.. Because Nia need to do some check up before school starts.. Its a long story.. And in a way Im quite happy to be able to celebrate new year and count down with my family.. Many people may wonder why is it a big deal but to me it is gonna be really fun and exciting! I hate my daily life.. No colour and boring.. Its the same old routines.. Im gonna die young if that continues..

I love the company of precious people.. Im not saying that I dont enjoy the company of my beloved friends.. Its just that it's different.. It feels different when you are with your family and your friends.. I dont have to think to keep the conversation going, I dont have to be nice to not hurt their feelings, I dont have to do many things and that relaxes me.. Im always tensed and nervous you see.. that is why I have a bad temper and when I am with my friends I kinda control it but when Im with my family, they control it for me ( ; I dont know if that makes any sense but its the hang of it.. Sort of.. haha

Above all, I still enjoy my friends' company but you know sometimes you just need a break and
find something different and refreshing! : D that keeps the love around and excitement.. besides, after sometime you'll realise how important certain people can be in your life and how messy your life can be without them by your side ( :

So, sometimes enough is enough.. You dont have to force yourself.. just take a break and start it over (; when you do, things are just going to be even better!

Im going off soon! Plane's flyingg! So perhaps, catch up with you soon! and shall post my holiday photos up soon too! Its not much cos my family has never fancy taking photos haha and they think that I am weird for loving photographs! haha btw, im gonna meet my cousins too! its been so long since i last saw them.. scared scared.. hopefully, it wont be awkward even though things happened.. and yeah! Idiotic Gavin gonna drive! GOSH! I hope we'll reach hotel just fine! HAHA

Loads of fun awaitingg~ (but stupid projects hautingg :[ ) ARGHHHH!

Awesomely Handsome to the MAX!

2009-12-25T02:00:00.002+08:00

I realised that my blog has been a very boring place : ( because my lack of update and lack of photos : ( so im gonna upload the awesomely handsome to the MAX CHOIKANG CHANGMIN (: Photos taken from dbsksleeplessnights (; its a photo when he was filming

Christmas is here!

2009-12-24T23:10:00.002+08:00

Its XMAS!! :D

But things arent so well.. I dont like being in the middle and hear all those shoutings. haish. Its all gonna be alright soon Lya.. AZZA! : D

Im so confused whether or not I shall go see Lee Hongki! Im so disappointed : { Its not that I dont know about it but I love Jeremy too much! Its so hard to bear the news :[ I should just ignore it and go confirm it myself? But if its really really true, Im so gonna regret paying $150! : ( I dont know what to do!

Im hoping to hear from you but but but its no use now : ( Im obsessed over something that's not real : ( Once again, I have my heart broken : ( haish! 어떡하죠?!!

I heart you!

2009-12-23T02:04:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, some people are not being persistent.. They are simply being irritating. And that disturbs me. Dont they know that I am someone who cant say no or reject anyone face to face.. Bloody hell, you dont even care about me when Im at my worst, you dont deserve me at all cost!

---

I dont know why am I trying so hard when I know things are just not meant to be.. Is it alright to be hopeful? Or am I just fooling myself? damn. Things are getting harder. Leave me alone and I'll be fine. Sometimes, I hate the way I'm ignored.. It hurts.. But, may be its better that way.. So thank you for not following me ( :

H E L P !

2009-12-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT IS SELLING THE BLUE TIX FOR FT ISLAND FAN MEETING + FANSIGN 2010! 1 BLUE TIX IS URGENTLY NEEDED!!!!!!!!!

EMAIL ME @ LYA_FRIENDLY@HOTMAIL.COM

THANKS!

A picture says it, it means it

2009-12-12T01:32:00.005+08:00

Photo updates (:

Shinn's bdae celebration on Tuesday!

Dimsum & Newmoon Day today!

Nostalgia

2009-12-12T00:54:00.002+08:00

Im going back Indo in like 8 hours time! :D

Im really excited and nervous too!

Havent been home for a long time and I wonder how it looks now.. There are many uncertain things like how'd I spend my time there, if I'd enjoy myself and if I wont just ending up rotting at my dad's office. But one thing certain is that Im gonna see my beloved family! and I cant wait! I miss the too much! and the feeling will never change! the happiness and the feel of home.. They can only be found there ( : i love home!

Anw, have a change in plan today. Didn't spend all my time doing PACE work which I did ytd night. (: so I managed to go out for lunch happily and catch my newmoon! OMFJ! Taylor is damn hot but as glee said his nose is huge. haha! Rob Pattz is too white and he glitters. No worries, whatever it is, Im still a big huge fat fan of Twilight saga ( : I loved Edward but I think he's too perfect to be alive and so I killed my dreams and all the perfectness. Or is it becoz of Rob? LOLS in any case, Im liking Taylor a lot. Carlisle is cute too! ohmy, i know. I like old guys.. so stop telling me that,, haha!

Did I tell you that Pearlyn almost went for dimsum alone? lols Glee and I were late.. haha damn funny, I slept like a pig till 1030! Didnt open my eyes for a split sec! its amazing! I must be damn tired.. haha And guess who woke me up? The rest staff who called to check if Im still coming down for the buffet lunch! haha!

Dint have enough share of Har Gao or however u spell it but I did have a great time (: Im so happy.. At first, it worried me because Im not close with Glee and Pearlyn.. I was scared things will be weird and all but it went just fine.. I had a great time laughing and simply hanging out and gossip.. Get some things out of my chest for a long time.. I guess Im very easily affected these few weeks and things bother me almost instantly.. haha it makes me feel damn bitchy and bad but I dont caree! Im a human too, if they get hurt, I too can get hurt.. Why should I think of others so much when it doesnt even occur to them that it might hurt me? disgusting. they should be punish or something. I wonder why they even exist to just be hated by others?

Dont mind me, anyway, although food wasnt as good as I expected it to be (love the beef, har gao and sweet and sour pork!) and it doesnt seem to be as cheap and worth it anymore, I hope everyone had a great time too.. Well, it was supposed to be a class outing and yet we ended up having a not even clique outing! haha

(to think about it I dont rly have a clique in year 1.. I did things mostly on my own which I enjoyed and I think I miss those times.. Sindy always wonder why I like to go and do things on my own.. haha May be cos I feel comfortable that way and dont have to bother others? Besides, I did it all the time in year 1 and I've become to used to not ask others for help or company.. I dont think I know how to ask ppl to accompany me out loh.. Its kinda embarrassing I guess?)

Hopefully, we can gather as a class again soon! : D Missing those times badly! It cant be anymore fun than eat, talk, shop ( :

I am not okay, I am great

2009-12-10T17:08:00.001+08:00

Im good now. ( : Some are just such a dearie and they made my day. Im going to bathe and go get dinner (: my gastric calling again : (

I always know that it's not a waste of time and I know they worth it ( :

Don't mind me, disappointment

2009-12-10T16:10:00.005+08:00

i dont get why i want it so bad that i waste my time making phone calls, sending messages and other things when i can actually sleep and get some rest after all those sleepless nights; when my body aches all over..

im tired.. really tired of everything..

im tired of getting disappointed..

i dont normally expect much from others.. not even on my birthday..

i dont understand why am i the only one feeling this way..

I never think it was mutual but perhaps I thought highly of our friendship.

i dont know why am i still trying..

No matter what, you hold a special place in my heart.

All the fun and crazy moments. Even conflicts seem beautiful now.

The feelings will soon go away.. And it'll feel like nothing has ever happened again..

I fancy them too much : [

When holiday runs wild!

2009-12-09T00:25:00.002+08:00

Horoscope says: Im about to settle down with someone special to me.

Well, I never believe certain aspects of horoscope although sometimes they come true.

-----

Anyway, I had a lot of fun today celebrating Shinn's early bdae celebration tgt with Sindy darling.. Went to Far East to get shoes and some other stuffs but ended up spending not a cent there! AMAZING right! Like the first time im going FEP without buying anything. really amazing. Was really tempted to get this necklace. Its really pretty im telling you.. not getting it due to some budget constraint only.. haha but its pretty ttm! : D

Supposed to eat Hansang but went for Shokudo instead.. ( : ok, the idea may not be as thrilling as Hansang but its nice! delicious garlic rice n should try the pizza and dessert next time.. Im so getting my sister to eat there next time.. I havent brought her to many good eating places loh. Feel so guiltyy~~

Anw, accounting ppr was hard. really hard. I really pray hard that I can pass. Please gimme some credit for studying can? : [

Ah. Im damn tired now. I dont think I can go on. I need to go to bed now.. Gonna wake up early for project meeting tmr.. haish. From 9-10 Dec im gonna squeeze my brain juice for project. ohmy! help!!!! okay. it shouldnt be as bad lahhh. but i still have so many things to do n yet im so not prepared to go back home on saturday!

Ridiculously, I have no luggage! great! laugh at me now. I need to get one small one. damn. no time. haish I see how. Im not even sure what im talking now.. haha DONT CARE!

내가 사랑했던 그 이름♥ by Onew feat Yeon Woo

2009-12-07T22:21:00.005+08:00

가까이 있는 널 사랑할 수 없는 걸 알고 있기에..

No matter how close, I know that I can't love you

날 바라볼 수 없는

I can't think of you

널 기다림이 너무 힘들어..

Waiting for you is so difficult

이젠 견딜 수 없어..

I can't endure this already

이뤄질 수 없기에..

This love can't be fulfilled

내가 사랑했던 그 이름♥

The name that I loved

불러보려 나갈수록 너무 멀어졌던..

Has become more and more distant as I call it

그 이름 이제 적어놓고

Now I'm writing your name

난 울먹여내안에 숨고 싶어져...

And I want to keep it within me

널 사랑할 수 밖에 없었던

I can't love anyone besides you

그 날을 이젠 알아줘요..

I realised it now

이룰 수 없는 사랑도 사랑 이니까? ♥

Even if it can't be fulfilled, it's still love, isn't it?

Internal Emotional Fights

2009-12-04T19:15:00.003+08:00

Hello hello there. I have been pretty busy with my life these days. I miss h13 a lot. It was fun being in it. Filled with laughters and fights ( : These days are just hectic and I have no time to think and digest things. I dont know somehow I feel guilty to my friends. Im talking about close ones here.

Im never quite sensitive to others' feelings and I shall admit that Im a very selfish person. Its all always about me, me and me.. Sometimes I know that I take things for granted just because that they are there with me and it's not that I dont appreciate things.. Its just that sometimes Im scared hurting others' feelings.. You know people are just too different and not a soul will think the exact same thing.. I cant force things and I know I shouldn't.. I dont ever want to force things to people especially those who are dear to me and make them feel uncomfortable...

If anyone ever have to change, it would have to be me.. I would have to compromise to make things work. Giving things up is never easy for me and most of the time it makes me unhappy.. :(

1 thing I hate about myself is that I can never show care and concern to ppl I love directly.. It'll seem that Im nicer and more caring to "outsiders" and I hurt my dear ones with my silly actions. : ( I know I should change but I just can't.. : (

I dont know. There are plenty of things running around my mind right now and none of them makes sense.. I will gather my thoughts and think over them carefully.. When I have the answer, I'll blog it... I hate it that I always end up hurting others and it takes a very long time for me to get close to ppl.. I would normally try to be friendly and courteous and do you know how hard it is to keep those smiles even when I'm sad? Finding those ppl whom I can cry to takes a hell lot of time and I cant afford to lose these loves in a second..

hellow yellow

2009-11-29T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Life's been pretty messed up thanks to one-after-another deadlines and many other workloads that I haven't be able to update my blog. So this is gonna be a quick one. I don't wanna be late tmr.. I have to wake up by 6 and get out of the house by 7. its a must.

I dont know what to start with. School? After CSIT outline, I rushed for Spook. Sitting in front of my comm for a solid 15-hour or more before cabbing down to school for submission. FILA due, TTB test, Culi poster and finally CSIT report which due tomorrow. And gonna have to work hard on FEM project and accounting mid sem.

I need a lot of lecture notes. Many missing. Shall go hunting soon.

Vacation wise I want to head back home and see my family as I wont be able to see them during CNY which is so depressing. But if I were to fly home Im gonna miss YEG which is also saddening : ( i can't make up my mind.

CYA wise, Im loving Sat crew.. and have been enjoying my day. Yesterday is unforgettable. I met an Austrian couple. They are quite old but they are super duper nice. I love them. I truly hope that I'll meet them again someday ( : I'd be happy to be their tour guide!

And thanks to my busy lifestyle now, I dont get to talk much to anyone. And im back to square one. Frankly, im disappointed. Because I thought that everything is well and i thought there is trust. I always thought wrong. The thing with me is that I expected too much and Im just always hurt at the end. But now I know that everything is back to zero, I wont try as hard anymore..

If I havent told u that I hate it when everyone can feel and read me.. I just dont understand why it happens or how they do it. People know when Im sad or when im affected. Things werent used to be like that. I used to hide my feelings well and no one knows that Im down. But now all the concern and care just make me sad even more. : ( haha.

Ok. I shall not continue drawing circles in a corner right? Fine. Im going to end this post because I really have nothing to say anymore. Ah. Im really looking forward to have dinner with Shinn at Hansang Restaurant soon! OMJ! Its so damn delicious! : D YAY! So happy! : ]

A Life of HTM-ers

2009-11-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

Nothing has changed. If there is one thing that ever changes, it is my ever growing love and faith for them.

Very tiring indeed.

Things are very hectic and crazy for me. Went through sleepless nights. Things turned me into a monster that I dont even know. I need to get to a very extremely relaxing trip alone to just get some peace. I need somewhere with no tech and phone connections so no one can find me and I can find myself back.

Mood has been bad. Get very frustrated very easily and judgemental. I just keep wanting to curse and stuffs. So please dont piss me off when you see me.. I dont want people to think that I have changed. Well, perhaps I have but Im still me.. Idk how to really put this and I have no intention to further elaborate it.

Im gonna get some sleep real soon as I really need it! Im having a slight fever which has gone better. Thank Jae for that!

Im hating life ttm now! I hate it hate it and hate it for life! haha

Quickk updates

2009-11-15T17:05:00.002+08:00

Ok here to make a quick update. Friday was awesomely tiring. Chicken turned out good and I probably pass although not with flying colours. Nevertheless, I was still happy that I managed to do it.. Gotta thank Shinn, Sindy, Junshen, KS Shaun, Xx and many others for helping, believing and supporting me. I really almost died of worry. Ok I didnt say this but the real reason for my worry is that I cut myself last week and it was pretty deep so I kind of scared of the knife and such..

But I did it! : D YAY! : D okayy~ I promised to cook for all next time okayy~! Maddie, you have to make tiem for me if you ever want to taste it loh! : D miss you dear.. Hopefully htings go well on your side and I want to see you during YEG okay! (:

Saturday started with PACE duty and then I left early to rush for CYA duty. I felt sick all over, dizzy and stomach-ached. But I hide it well, didn't I? :D haha I was fine lah actually because it was not serious but one thing I could not stand was airport was too cold! :(

Had popeye biscuit for dinner and that was my vitamin! :D I become healthier afterwards! YAY! love popeye biscuit and fries ^^ Also had nice convo with Kenrick. May be perhaps I worry too much, but I really don't want to "scare" my juniors away by being too strict :(. I really don't know what to do. But, well. I love my juniors, they are so damn cute and caring. They are so smiley too! Hopefully, they have enjoyed and will always enjoy their duties! :D Because what's more important to me is that they are happy (:

Kenrick, the stalker uncle clown always emo one corner even though he is supposed to be the one making me happy whenever im emo.. LOLS Kenrick, thanks ah! BUTTT! Stop having problem with me can! You are so not logical and nonsense eh! haha :P

Anyway, I have to chiong my projects now! I can't believe it.. Im a dead meat! :(

Just be yourself, Lya! :D

2009-11-15T00:33:00.001+08:00

It shouldn't turn into a battle field.. Im here because of them. I want them to have fun and enjoy themselves. That is all my intention. And Im going to be myself. No more sad songs.

My home is you (:

2009-11-14T01:36:00.000+08:00

Im so damn bloody tired. Im thinking to quit school and go back Indo to enjoy life. haha I havent been home for a very long time and yes, I miss it a lot.. It's so slack back there although I can't really enjoy and nothing to look out for in particular.. Nothing like outings n hangouts that I look forwrds to, no bumping into loves in school or anywhere, no fan girls to talk to, no 24/7 internet (its gonna cause a lot!) and means no dong bang.

I think Im killing the idea now. LOLS but I really wish to go home and get some rest. Cool things down and bringing my old self back (:

But sometimes, you just have to give up and sacrifice somethings. You can't have everything your way and if I just bear with it, I would survive : D I know I can do it.

I miss home, I love home

Ps. going to top up my card soon! So that I can flood my bro's blackberry with MMS! : D Han! Reply me soon! OR I'll slaughter you! HAHA : D I miss you more than I miss eating my fav food! It's a pity my 2 bros cant come over in December. ;( I havent seen them for almost a year. I realy wonder how they really look now. I assume, they are still as skinny as ever.. May be they are black-er now and more vain! : D OMJ! I rly want to watch them grow up..

As much as I love being here in Spore, knowing many nice people who have supported me whom I love loads and as much as Im grateful to be able to be here, getting the chance to be a better person and all, I would give this up if I could just watch them grow up and be there for them whenever they need me..

I know this may seem selfish cos if I weren't here today, my life wouldnt be as lovely and things might not even improve.. Everything would probably be worse but I always think that not being able to be there for my siblings when they need me most for my own benefit is the most horrible thing that I have ever done.. ;(

It must be very lonely for the both of them.. They have different school hours and to be stuck at home most of the time with only my grandma isnt great.. No one to play or talk to.. :( My parents are busy working and no one takes care of their academic performance.. Not that my mum has ever really bothered about it tho.. Things always seem to be so easy for her.. haha.

So, if I were given a chance, I'd quit every single activities I have in TP to take care of them if they were to come. Although it is a pity that I have to miss out on good oportunities that doesnt come often and although it may not seem fair to Nia cos it seems like I abandon her for all these activities. Im willing to change... Hopefully,, its not just another empty hopes and promises.

I will strive hard to make it come true, but first I have to work hard to make everything worth it..

What is love to you?

2009-11-13T23:09:00.004+08:00

Every single soul on earth would have a different definition of love.. But for me it is indescribable.

It is never logical and it is unreasonable. It burns brighter than any sunshine. It requires sacrifice and pain, even so, your heart will still go wherever it desires because it is something you cant run away from.

It is something that makes me willing to do anything in the world to see them smile and make them happy. It is something that causes me to want someone so bad even when Im 64. It is about seeing imperfect people perfectly.

Love is not blind. It sees more and not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less- love makes you see more of a person and understand them deeply and so it makes you willing to ignore their weaknesses and have them by your side for eternity.

Im still trying to figure it out myself as to what and why I love others. However, there just isnt any concrete definition of it.

It's a feeling you like and hate at the same time because it brings you beautiful memories, smiles, laughters as well as insecurity, pain, sorrow and heartbreak.

And you know what is the funny thing? It is that sometimes the one love you cant get over is the one love you never really have. Have it occured to you that may be the happy ending is just moving on?

-------

I didn't came up with all those from scratch. Im sure you've heard some old proverbs mentioned above. haha. Read a few touching stories and they set me thinking. Well, the worst thing that could happen is not that no one understand you but it's when you don't understand yourself.

So just came up with theories to basically satisfy my own needs and I thought I would just share it.. Let me know if you can add on things to it.. It'd be so inspiring to me of course! :D This is the kind of thing I love thinking about : D

To me, he is love (:

2009-11-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, well it today literally, is my Culi test! :D Wish me luck please! :D Im so damn scared :(

RDD Tutorial

2009-11-13T01:29:00.000+08:00

Ring Ding Dong

2009-11-10T23:27:00.004+08:00

Yes, as expected I like Shinee's new concept. Thanks to someone, the song has been replay-ing in my head since spa lecture! haha Can anyone help me download pleasee? And I want many other new Korean songs too, have been missing too much (A) lols.

Ah, I kept forgetting to say that my JH is back but onew is sick now ;( Too many swines flying in korea now and everyone is catching it ;( hopefully, no more bad news on their way.. Worst case scenario is my db getting it ;( if that happens, im gonna cry and flood the entire Singapore, I swear.. So, on behalf of every human living in Singapore, please don't catch H1N1, oppa.. haha

Ah, and the performances would be so much better with my JH in them! instead of yesung singing his lines.. haha I'll be looking forward for a performance with all Shinee members in it! :D

And Im so loving the fact that Jonghyun is so cute! LOL And let me tell you something.. Key and I share the same hobby.. Guess what is that.. haha (he is getting cuter with a black hair!)

We both love cute organisers! :D

And we both love polaroids! :DD YAY!

It's all because I love them :D

2009-11-10T22:01:00.005+08:00

Some people wonder why I like live songs with fan screaming and all so much.. Trust me it was irritating at first cos all I want to do is to hear them sing.. But all it takes to get used to it..

I prefer live cos that is when all the false notes or mistakes being made if there ever one.. You know doing well is dong bang's all time forte.. haha. That is when I know that they are human too.. They tire easily, they will hurt and get hurt too.. They are fragile just like any others and they worked hard to be where they are now..

I dont just want to see the pretty little world they have drawn for all of us, the fans.. I dont want to just know the pretty outlook of their world full of fame and luxury which is envied by many.. Because any other human could judge that in a split second..

I want to acknowledge their hard work and of course Im selfish enough to come up with something to benefit myself by making them my motivation to strive..

Live is also when I get to hear their true and genuine feelings right at that moment and cherish them.. In conclusion, its about seeing imperfect person perfectly.. Although they say love is blind, but it actually isn't.. It sees more and not less.. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less (:

Every single step counts (:

2009-11-10T19:41:00.002+08:00

This shall serve as a reminder and motivation for me to give my best at all time! :D

Ukiss Comeback!

2009-11-09T22:33:00.004+08:00

Check this video out! Im liking it! :DD except for the fast movement of the camera, everything else is great! Good job Ukiss! :DD Nice! Can see the maturity in you guys now and OMJJ!! Dong ho is freaking hot! and Elli looks good in his new hair style!

Ki beom! Kyaaaa~~ Loving that highlight!!! You look so cool! Xander looks so fierce! I have not much comment about Kiseop for now.. Im still getting used to him.. It's just kinda weird to have additional member but im good (:

Baby, talk to me

2009-11-09T22:03:00.004+08:00

Baby talk, Let me love :D

Interestingly conveyed

2009-11-09T20:45:00.008+08:00

I simply love him because he is Kim Jae Joong :D
He looks so damn great on Heaven's Postman debut!
It was his first time standing in front of so many cameras alone and he was nervous..
But Im sure he knows that we've got his back.. (:

I really hope that they will air it in Singapore!!
Im so gonna head down to the cinema to get 100 tix!!
It's another beginning for all of them..
Im sure they're gonna act as well as they sing..
Soaring up is their forte :DD

Don't leave a mark pleasee

2009-11-09T00:03:00.002+08:00

Just like my finger ;(

BEAST/B2ST

2009-11-08T22:40:00.005+08:00

Die! They look cool! I cant afford another addiction. No time. But, I can assure you that I will listen to their songs (: Click HERE to see more of them :D

The members are::

-Yun Du Jun/4 July 1989
- Son Dong Un/ 6 June 1991
- Yang Yeo Seop/ 5 Jan 1990
- Lee Ki Kwang/ 30 March 1990
- Jang Hyeon Seung/ 3 Sep 1989
- Yong Jun Hyeong/ 19 Dec 1989

Nice! :DD But I dont think I will adore them for long.. Just to kill boredom.. haha For now , I like Ki Kwang.. :D He is so Jong Hyeon!! But of course my JH is much cuter :P haha Jong hyeon ah~ get well soon okayy~~! Yeo Seop kinda cute but Dong Un voice is better :) So I like Ki Kwang and then Dong Un followed by Yeo Seop, Du Jun and Hyeon Seung..

HAHA. I could actuall rate who I like best, I can't do the same for my DB and Shinee.. Ukiss is quite hard too.. haha I wonder why.. I love all my gods of the east! :DD Faster make your come back! Its gonna be our 6th year together soon! :DD

5 years and still going strong! :DD

You don't have to believe what they say

2009-11-08T02:43:00.005+08:00

My horoscope for the day (: Some of the things are quite true but mostly they aren't.. I don't have the urge to open a pandora box right now. I do know how to take care of myself and avoid getting hurt. Ain't I just great? :P

Something being covered up, or something that you are covering up is a source of worry today, Virgo. Sometimes because of privacy, or economic necessity (or simply because it's nobody's business), we need to keep certain things to ourselves. This could be the case today, and you do so, despite the urge to tell all, or the flow of conversation today. It's also possible that you feel an intense pressure to discover something being hidden from you. Let it go, at least for today: like Pandora's box, it's something you don't want to open.

I cant sleep yet ;(

2009-11-08T00:44:00.004+08:00

Saturday, 7 November 2009 is the first CYA day for Sat Crew AY09/10 (: It was okay with a lot of passengers in the airport to keep everyone busy (especially me).. Personally I had a lot of fun during the duty.. And perhaps the juniors may find me a bit naggy and strict for attire and during duty wise but it's okay (: Im glad that they did quite well for their first duty and hopefully, the standard will be maintained or improved (: I know they can do it one!

One thing about them is that they are a little quiet for HTM, LRM and CCM-ers.. May be its just the first duty thats why.. I hope to see more enthusiasm and noise in the future! (:

Went for a light but fattening supper at macs with some juniors and I had gastric just before the duty ended :( Luckily it was not a bad one so I went to get a peanut pancake from Jollibean for dinner to stuff my stomach with it after duty.. The pain went away although not so soon.. Anw, I had mc flurry at macs.. sadly, its the normal one because they ran out of koko crunch :P

Ok, it was overall a fine yet tiring day. I jsut hoped I really lose some pounds.. lols To make everything feels really worth it.. haha Anyway, I have to finish my FILA and get to bed early. Tomorrow I aim to wake up at 6 and go out from house latest 715 to see Nia's match! :DD

I really can feel that my body is breaking.. Im so dizzy right now and my gastric comes and goes recently.. Im sure I wont fall sick or such but enduring the pain is actually worse ;( like now, gastric is back to torture me :((

It just happens, no reason

2009-11-07T14:52:00.002+08:00

Oozes

2009-11-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

My finger still bleeds.

To a friend

2009-11-07T01:36:00.003+08:00

This post is dedicated to a retarded friend of mine who is just a plain retard and caring friend (;

HELLO FRIEND!

I hope you are doing well and have enjoyed your school days so far. I just wanna thank you for being nice to me at times and even though you bully me like forever, I always enjoy your company. Be it the fun and happy times or the annoying and down times.. Thank you for adding colours to my life. (:

To my regret, I dont know you well.. We are not even close to start with.. But, Im glad that we are quite frank to each other about things. There is no need for me to wear any mask or hide any feelings be it anger and unhappiness.. You've been a great friend to me and I want to play my part too!!

I do hope I had helped you in one way or another and had made your day in the past because I know I do owe you a lot.. The least I can do now is to be a listening ear. Im sure you know that bottling things up isnt good and it wont help.. So you can come and talk to me anytime okayy?

And lastly, stop being so retarded and get started with your life! Live your life to the fullest and at the same time study hard okay!! :D Lets pull our GPA up! :DD If you need ppl to go with you during lecture, you can text me.. I wont lend you notes tho! Must go lecture yourself! :D And rmb, balance is good! Be always happy! :DD

PS;; If you know who you are then good for you, if not then it doesnt matter because in friendship, words can go unspoken yet still be understood. And Im sure that though I dont say it often, you know that I treasure you! :D

Guess what?

2009-11-07T01:33:00.001+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday to Poh Eng and Kelwin! :DD

They share the same birthday.

Have the same bag and slipper.

And...

Their other halfs share the same birthday too!

How cool is that??

DAMN COOL RIGHT! :D

Bloody Friday

2009-11-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

They ask for 1 shallot minced and I gave them 1 finger sliced.

I have repeated the story again and again. And I dont feel like saying it anymore.. But I guess its quite obvious that I cut my finger. Its rather big and really deep.. Could see my meat which looks really disgusting even to myself. And of course it kept bleeding..

In 1 minute I lost 1 pale of blood.

Lucky, I manage to survive.

I tell you, It was lots and lots of blood;; really!

I almost fainted when I saw it ;(

Hiatus

2009-11-05T03:46:00.002+08:00

How much have you missed dear?

I was looking at my previous blog posts and I couldnt understand a single shit. LOL I think I really can't blog late at night and when my head is spinning 360 degrees. haha May be next time, I'll just type in phone first and blog when Im fit to. (;

Kevin, Ukiss, Kissme

2009-11-05T03:38:00.001+08:00

Isnt he just cute? ;D OMJJ!!! :DD

Flash forward

2009-11-05T00:45:00.005+08:00

Im gonna stop.

Read me. Tell me.

I'll let you know if you are right..

------

If it will happen in the future, might as well make it happen now..

The hardest thing right now is to make everyone around me happy..

I have to keep smiling ;DD

I dont know why

2009-11-04T00:40:00.002+08:00

It feels like I dont matter anymore, I hate you for that.

Text me soon, miss you love.

PS: Can you imagine, if even your loved ones abandon you, who would stand by you then? ;(

I think I left my phone in the PACE Room

2009-11-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

Or at least I hope so.. I cant think of any other place already :(

HOW COULD I FREAKING LEFT MY PHONE SOMEWHERE!!! ;(

Really, Im having headache like totally now.. The stupid ache comes and goes since morning.. I managed to survive the day but the afternoon was a pain.. The heat made my head ached even more after lunch.. (lunch was good btw.. I get to eat other ppl's ice kacang thats why! :P HEEEE)
Sentosa is really extremely damn freaking hot and if I dont get myself a fan, a water bottle and wear straw hat everyday, I think im not gonna make it by the end of the sem :(

What an island life.. haish

Had an enjoyable night at tp.. Rushed back to school to catch the International Culture Night.. OI got really excited and all.. haha you bet.. It was really enjoyable to see a real poetry being read by an Indonesian and others' cultures! I love those dances and songs (: And although the Mirotic performance was kinda good (even though it was far much better if DB were to perform it themselves :P) Formation wise was kinda messy but acceptable.. Could see their effort in the dressing wise..

BUT 1 THING THAT MADE ME DAMN HAPPY! :D THEY ONLY DANCE SO I GET TO LISTEN TO DONG BANG SING THE SONG! :D WELL, AT LEAST IT WONT SOUND BAD IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE (; PERFECT ACTUALLY :p

OMJ!! (OH MY JAE!)

2009-11-01T00:25:00.004+08:00

1. Sharp eyes and steady/intense gaze - I think they equals coolness (:

2. Thin lips with a light smile - This just appeals to me!

3. Strong looking arms yet gives out gentle touch - It just amazes me to the max..

4. I like guys who can cook!! :D But I'd want to cook for him too! :)

5. Know how to dress up is a big plus :D

6. Like Taylor said, all girls like "bad"boys and the mysterious side of Edward Cullen (:

7. But Taylor, I like the warm, sweet, fun and humorous Jacob Black more ^^

8. A beautiful voice that I want to hear again and again, every night before I sleep :P

9. Has the most beautiful smile on earth, the closest to angel (:

10. And actually I came up with all the reasons above because I just simply love Kim Jae Joong!

I dont know if I would ever regret

2009-10-31T23:57:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder if everything I did actually worth my time.. Im too used to worry for people around me who I thought matter a lot to me but in actual fact, they do not. And to make the matter worse, I dont matter much to them..

Sad, but to be really honest here, Im not surprised. People I loved, cared and trusted, turned their back on me. May be sometimes it happened without them realising it and I know that they didnt mean it but most of the time, it happened because people love seeing me crumble. And I swear it wont happen anymore!

As much as Im hurt upon hearing things and stuffs, I wont fall and cry. I wont let anyone gain satisfaction from it. It I should suffer, if will be in silence.

And another thing that I hate about myself is that, at the end of the story, I will still forget everything and start a new. Im too selfish to lose someone that deemed to be important or at least they used to be and its just hard to change a habit, isnt it?

Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.

How was your Friday?

2009-10-31T01:07:00.005+08:00

So Many Cuties Today! :D

All I know now is that today was a tiring and enjoyable day. I can't wait to close my eyes and go to my dreamland.. I'll tell you more of what happened today..

Have a good rest everyone! :D

horoscope said so

2009-10-28T21:47:00.003+08:00

"Today you may be clearing the air over some issues that has been left on the back of the rack for way too long. Money and finances seem somewhat of a concern and there is something favorable happening in this regard, but not today." - No idea..

"Today is a day where you will experience many opportunities that present the best of all worlds. Days like this do not come often with you so today you definitely want to make the most of every minute"- The day is ending in like 2 more hours and I dont see it coming.. haha bull's crap.
"Be careful of your health today because it can be thrown off by either food or a sudden change in the weather. You've been doing great keeping up with your financial obligations." - Now they know how to predict weather too. haha :P

Quotes of the day

2009-10-28T21:18:00.003+08:00

Let's hear the quotes of the day for the most dramatic queen on earth, Stephy! LOL (Sorry steph, I still love you! :P)

1. There is a milk

2. Witch is okay, bitch isnt!~

And all you need to do when reading this is to imagine her retarded face and tone.. haha :P Highlight of the day and I'll be sure to let you hear more of this every tues night cos I'll be hearing loads of it (well may be not that many) from her every tuesday during our 1 hour lunch.. haha!

Toodles girls! :D

Till then (:

Im missing 07 ;(