huh. should i say this is insecurity?

i really dun know what is going to happen for the next few weeks and this is really frustrating..
not knowing anyone.. not knowing what will happen with ssm.. and not knowing what subjects are up next. im so scared...

should i just stop here??

suddenly, i remembered about johnson.. i wonder how he is doing now.. spent only around 3 to 4 months with him but it was nice.. if i just agreed, everything would surely be different now..

but no regrets.. not at all.. well, there were many initially.. but i make it through..

i think what fb quiz says is right.. im always the one ruining everything.. all the smiles and laughter.. im the one erasing them and trying to hide..
why do i made such a promise? im scared to be hurt i guess?

things will surely be different if i still have him at least as a friend.. can always count on him and being taken care of.. ): so sad that i have to lost someone taht is so precious and kind.. someone so caring and so nice... never in my entire life someone do so much for me..

everyday talking on the phones for hours, msging till morning, chat and hang out. used to do that but he makes it feel different.. no long hours talking. no calling every 5 mins, nothing like my life in indo.. tho i love the memories.. like so scared being caught calling with guys, scared that my parents find out i know guys who are older than me.. haha

but now i survive right? without him, i am fine.. i should move on, shouldn't i?
he has too.. i am sure.. he has... should be replaced while its still possible right?
although, he has also turned to someone different.. someone that i no longer know.. it's his choice.. and i like the fact that we respect each other's decision.. though, it was bad for me to just avoid him and let him go..

our age gap is 3 years.. and i knw i have never have any luck with "dragon" ppl.. i have no type.. but it seems like i like older guys more.. :P like 3 to 5 years different.. they are just more capable.. i like those who don't say out whatever they feel or their abilities but are actually very capable.. they always do everything well and talk only when needed..

seems like the opposite always attract huh? but i always want to find someone like Ko Ching.. He is capable. Dont talk much but always do things well. Not boastful and funny too. nice but not sweet.. it is embarassing to say ilu everyday.. well at least thats what i feel :P
but if there is one thing i dont like is that he is a player.. hahaha


ahh shall stop it here..
should go and do my budget allocation and sleep! OMG! tmr need to wake up at 6 ==""




~shouldn't we cry when we feel like crying? why would anyone be so selfish to hide everything away?? leaving nothing for others see.. tell me how to make this better. share with me if it eases your burden.♥ if u dont receive smses from me,itsnot that i dont care. please, i'll be here like forever!!♥

huh. should i say this is insecurity?

i really dun know what is going to happen for the next few weeks and this is really frustrating..
not knowing anyone.. not knowing what will happen with ssm.. and not knowing what subjects are up next. im so scared...

should i just stop here??

suddenly, i remembered about johnson.. i wonder how he is doing now.. spent only around 3 to 4 months with him but it was nice.. if i just agreed, everything would surely be different now..

but no regrets.. not at all.. well, there were many initially.. but i make it through..

i think what fb quiz says is right.. im always the one ruining everything.. all the smiles and laughter.. im the one erasing them and trying to hide..
why do i made such a promise? im scared to be hurt i guess?

things will surely be different if i still have him at least as a friend.. can always count on him and being taken care of.. ): so sad that i have to lost someone taht is so precious and kind.. someone so caring and so nice... never in my entire life someone do so much for me..

everyday talking on the phones for hours, msging till morning, chat and hang out. used to do that but he makes it feel different.. no long hours talking. no calling every 5 mins, nothing like my life in indo.. tho i love the memories.. like so scared being caught calling with guys, scared that my parents find out i know guys who are older than me.. haha

but now i survive right? without him, i am fine.. i should move on, shouldn't i?
he has too.. i am sure.. he has... should be replaced while its still possible right?
although, he has also turned to someone different.. someone that i no longer know.. it's his choice.. and i like the fact that we respect each other's decision.. though, it was bad for me to just avoid him and let him go..

our age gap is 3 years.. and i knw i have never have any luck with "dragon" ppl.. i have no type.. but it seems like i like older guys more.. :P like 3 to 5 years different.. they are just more capable.. i like those who don't say out whatever they feel or their abilities but are actually very capable.. they always do everything well and talk only when needed..

seems like the opposite always attract huh? but i always want to find someone like Ko Ching.. He is capable. Dont talk much but always do things well. Not boastful and funny too. nice but not sweet.. it is embarassing to say ilu everyday.. well at least thats what i feel :P
but if there is one thing i dont like is that he is a player.. hahaha


ahh shall stop it here..
should go and do my budget allocation and sleep! OMG! tmr need to wake up at 6 ==""




~shouldn't we cry when we feel like crying? why would anyone be so selfish to hide everything away?? leaving nothing for others see.. tell me how to make this better. share with me if it eases your burden.♥ if u dont receive smses from me,itsnot that i dont care. please, i'll be here like forever!!♥