You Give Me Faith

dont.understand

Written with Love on Wednesday, 16 April 2008 | back to top

i really dont understand wad my father is thinking abt!
we talkd abt it bfre and he agreed..
but now he askd me why i nvr think abt it carefully~
huuh~
i dunno wad i should do~~
if i nvr take TG..
my skul fees'd b like 12000 a year!
where to gt the money?!!~
omggg~
i just dun understand wads the prob of takin TG??!
wads the real prob?
isnt it make my life easier?
by paying cheaper skul fees..
bsides i'd gt a job strait away!
whu knows i may b located in KOREA or JAPAN ;p
haha ;p
no i mean fr ll u knw i can get gud payin..;p
no actually the experience is the most precious~~
wads the real prob?
i think pa2 wans to put me in ausie again~
huuh
just bcz he gt his bro there..
i think he thinks tht he can cut the cost..
bsides he heard tht the payin in ausie is high~
so he's scared tht i may not get gud pay till my old days!
omggg~
isnt it too much?
i mean he always think highly of his fams.
(doesnt mean tht its not my fams)
and im fine wth it..
i beard wth all his pride and everything..
but i think this is too muchh!
he keep wantin me to go their ways!
the ways tht his nieces and nephews choose!
but i am ME!
and i dont wanna be anybody but MYSELF!
i wanna do wad i want!
i wan life the way i dream it to be!!~
i wanna fight fr my own DREAMS!
i dont wanna b anybody else!
i dont wana lose myself!
omgg~
this is frustrating!
wad should i do to make him understand me?
he is my father
and instead of supportin me..
he is tryin to change me..
imnt sayin that he's bad or selfish..
imnt sayin tht he's tryin to control my life..
im sure he does this coz he cares bout me..
cz he wants me to have good life and all..
cz he wants me to have a good job..
good income and good position..
no body would like to see their kids suffer..
and i believe all parents love their kids..
but i just want him to understand tht im doin this not onli fr myself..
cz if i dont want to take TG fr many reasons..

~[[u know actually at frst i was confuse of whether to take TG or not~
cz its like letting my life bein controlled by the gov.
and i was thinking tht i may nt b able to achieve my dreams..
i may not b able to do anything i want to..
but even married ppl can gt divorce..
so wad if i have to pursue my dreams after the 3 years?
i still have time..
im young!
bsides they onli say work fr 3 years..
tht doesnt mean tht i cant travel,does it?
i still can go to back home n any part of the world..
i can even go to the moon if i wan to~
so the fact abt dreams isnt matter anymore
and now i can accept it
i dunno why but i think its bcz i believe this is the best fr me
cz even i cant pursue my dreams now
i can still pray and do it step by step]]~~

back to topic ;p
it means tht he'll have to work triple hard..
im not his onli child u c...
and with the rate of economy right now..
my pa would have to work 6x harder!
and he is willing to..
doesnt tht show hw he loves his children?
hikss~
but i cant let it happen,can i?
im touchd..
real touchd fr all the things he has done fr me n my siblings~
so now its my turn to not let him dwn..
i'll prove him even my life has to b controld fr 3 years
even i'll gt older n i cant achieve my dreams juz yt..
i'll juz get better n have more experience!~
i'll be much better than anybody in this universe tht he adores..
i'll make him proud and wont let him down..
i wont let his hard earnd money bcome a waste juz lyk tht~
i wont b able to repay all my parents care and concern but
i PROMISE!
i will achieve my dreams and live happily ever after..
as well as make them proud of me!!!!

cz
ILOVETHEM

dont.understand

Written with Love on Wednesday, 16 April 2008 | back to top